安徽省肥東縣凱悅中學(xué)八（1）班 丁夢(mèng)瑤

【習(xí)作內(nèi)容】

Hello,everyone.Let's talk about wild animals today.

As we know,human beings could not live without animals around us.But more and more wild animalsare in danger,such as tigers,pandas and elephants.

Why are so many animals in danger?Because of human!The villages and fields are growing bigger.But grounds and forests are growing smaller.And there isn't enough①clear water for wild animals to drink andhumanalso②filledlotsofwild animals.We took away their homes.

What should we do to protect animals?It's very easy.We can let our families protectwild animals.And the governmentshouldsetupmorenature③park and warn people to reduce the pollution of rivers.

The wild animals are our friends.I think,protecting animals is protecting ourselves.

【教師點(diǎn)評(píng)】

本文是一篇關(guān)于保護(hù)動(dòng)物題材的習(xí)作文章。小作者從珍稀動(dòng)物的現(xiàn)狀、動(dòng)物瀕危的原因以及保護(hù)動(dòng)物的建議三個(gè)方面進(jìn)行了說(shuō)明。

行文中，小作者能夠靈活運(yùn)用所學(xué)的句型、短語(yǔ)和語(yǔ)法，使文章達(dá)到語(yǔ)言精練的效果。同時(shí)全文主題突出，條理清晰，語(yǔ)言流暢。文章的結(jié)尾升華了主題，以引起讀者的共鳴，具有畫(huà)龍點(diǎn)睛的作用！

需完善的內(nèi)容：

①clear改為 clean。clean作形容詞時(shí)，意為“干凈的”，clear意為“清澈的；透明的”。 在這里用clean能更恰當(dāng)?shù)匦稳荨案蓛舻乃础薄?/p>

②filled改為killed。fill意為“裝滿(mǎn)；充滿(mǎn)”，kill意為“殺死”，這里要表達(dá)的是“人們也會(huì)殺害一些野生動(dòng)物”。這兩個(gè)屬于拼寫(xiě)中易混淆的單詞。

③park改為 parks。park為可數(shù)名詞，且前面有單詞more（更多的）修飾，因此park應(yīng)用復(fù)數(shù)形式。