浙江
浙江省新高考寫作新題型“讀后續(xù)寫”提供一段350詞以內的語言材料,要求考生依據該材料內容、所給段落開頭語和所標示關鍵詞進行續(xù)寫(150詞左右)。評分原則涵蓋四方面內容:(1)與所給短文及段落開頭語的銜接程度;(2)內容的豐富性和對所給關鍵詞語的覆蓋情況;(3)應用語法結構和詞匯的豐富性和準確性;(4)上下文的連貫性。因此,讀后續(xù)寫主要是從內容和語言兩方面考查學生的邏輯思維能力和語言運用能力。其中,內容方面既考查學生對文本的解讀能力,也考查學生根據原文進行再創(chuàng)造的構思能力。語言方面主要考查學生的綜合語言運用能力。如:運用語言描述人物角色的性格和心理活動、運用語言渲染事件發(fā)生的環(huán)境等。
學生在讀后續(xù)寫中表現(xiàn)出來的問題主要有兩個方面:(1)續(xù)寫內容邏輯混亂。續(xù)寫內容與原文以及所給段落首句的聯(lián)系不夠緊密。(2)語言表達匱乏。學生所寫文章或詞不達意,或枯燥乏味,或冗長繁亂。用學生的話說就是:“我無法用語言正確表達我想說的話?!痹斐蛇@種現(xiàn)象的根本原因是學生缺少足夠的積累和沉淀,閱讀時缺乏思維邏輯,無法理解原文的文脈和作者的寫作思維,因而無法在續(xù)寫中從內容和語言兩方面呼應原文。
經典文學作品是經受了歲月的淘洗、時間的考驗而流傳下來的寶貴財富。經典文學作品構思巧妙、內容嚴謹、語言經典,在結構、主題、人物刻畫、內心描寫等方面都有其獨特之處。閱讀經典文學作品能讓學生接觸原汁原味的語言,從作品的意蘊美中獲得人生態(tài)度和價值觀念方面的啟示;從作者對人物角色的勾畫中賞析作者的語言表達之精美;從故事發(fā)展的跌宕起伏中學習作者的情節(jié)構思之精妙;從人物角色的沖突中感受作者的情感表達之深刻。因此,越來越多的教師意識到經典文學作品的重要性,但是,受限于學生的語言基礎、學習能力、學習時間和教師的教學進度,無論是學生的閱讀效果,還是教師的閱讀指導都不甚理想。為此,筆者協(xié)同工作室成員進行了經典英文原著閱讀的教學探究,形成了經典英文原著閱讀教學的基本思路。本文將以Kate Chopin(凱特·蕭邦)的The Story of an Hour(《一小時的故事》,文本附后,有刪改)為例,介紹有效開展英文經典原著閱讀的思路:預測——品讀——仿寫。
The Story of an Hour是美國女作家Kate Chopin(凱特·蕭邦)的一篇非常著名的短篇小說,敘述了女主人翁Mrs.Mallard (Louise)在得知丈夫過世之后的一系列反應。作者精煉地概述了在一個小時里,Mrs.Mallard獲知丈夫去世的痛不欲生——很快從悲痛中恢復,有了“自由”的喜悅——看到“死而復生”的丈夫出現(xiàn)在門口而倒地猝死的戲劇性結尾。全文女主人翁情感強烈、變化微妙,情節(jié)發(fā)展出人意外,語言形式豐富、表達含蓄、富有寓意。無論從情節(jié)構思還是語言欣賞方面,本小說都很值得學生閱讀、模仿。
Dr.Janette在Reading Process一文中指出:“Making predictions or“best guesses”about what will happen in a text is an important literacy strategy and skill.Students' predictions are based on their prior knowledge and experiences about the topic, the genre, and what has happened so far in the text (using both the print text and illustrations).Having students make predictions engages them in the reading task and encourages them to become active participants in the learning.”正如學生所說:“預測使閱讀更有方向,當自己的預測和作者寫的內容一樣時就會感到很自豪,讀起來也更有興趣。當自己的預測和作者寫的內容不一樣時就會更好奇,很想繼續(xù)讀下去。 經典文學作品的情節(jié)發(fā)展一般都出人意料但又在情理之中。
在本文的教學實踐中,我們設計了兩個預測環(huán)節(jié):一個是女主人翁Mrs.Mallard在獲知丈夫去世時的語言描寫預測。另一個是情節(jié)預測,即故事將近結尾部分,當Mrs.Mallard看到“死而復生”的丈夫后的反應。教學設計如下:
預測的設置學生的回答Question 1: How would Mrs.Mallard react to the news that her husband was killed in the railroad disaster?Words: cry, sad, sorrowful;Phrases: in despair, in tears;Sentences: First she felt unbelievable, then cried in silence/loudly.She was so shocked that she fell unconscious.Question 2: How would you end the story?She was so excited that she rushed to hug her husband.She couldn't believe her eyes and cried as loudly as she heard the bad news.She was too thrilled to contain herself and then she fell to the ground and died suddenly.At last they lived happier than ever before because of the false news.
【設計意圖】通過預測,一方面讓學生置身于文本之中,與文本互動、與人物共情。另一方面是設置懸念,激發(fā)學生的閱讀探究興趣,也為后續(xù)的文本剖析設置沖突點。
體會經典之美,在于品。通過品讀人物角色,賞析作者對人物性格、人物形象的勾畫手法;通過品味語言,學習作者的語言表達手段;通過品評故事發(fā)展,掌握作者的情節(jié)構思技巧。
1.品析人物 與人物角色共情
在人物形象的刻畫方面一般會通過環(huán)境、外貌、語言、行動和心理的細節(jié)描寫來彰顯人物性格。因此,讓學生閱讀了第一、二兩段,并進行了第一個預測之后,我們在梳理情節(jié)的過程中設計了三個品讀環(huán)節(jié):
(1) Read Paragraph 3 and work in groups to think about what is unexpected to you.
有一組學生從文本第三段第一句“She did not hear the story as many women have heard the same, with a paralyzed inability to accept its significance.”中讀出:Maybe she was not so in love with her husband.另一組學生用本段第二句“She wept at once, with sudden, wild abandonment, in her sister's arms.”進行了反駁。
【設計意圖】讓學生在閱讀和討論中,讀出主人翁Mrs.Mallard的內心矛盾和沖突,為后面的主題解讀埋下伏筆。同時,學生也能感受到自己的預測和作者對文章情節(jié)設計之間的沖突。這種情節(jié)沖突也是經典文學的鋪墊手法之一。
(2)Read Paragraphs 4-6 and try to understand Mrs.Mallard's feelings.
學生從作者的細節(jié)描寫中讀出了Mrs.Mallard的以下情感:
Description Mrs.Mallard's feelings...pressed down by a physical exhaustion that haunted her body and seemed to reach into her soul. Extremely sad....the tops of trees that were all wave with the new spring life.The delicious breath of rain was in the air. When she was alone in the room, she felt less sad....countless sparrows were twittering in the eaves(屋檐). She seemed a little happy, but I am not sure.She sat with her head thrown back upon the cushion of the chair, quite motionless, ...She did not know what to do because she was in deep sorrow....a sob came up into her throat and shook her, as a child who has cried itself to sleep continues to sob in its dreams. Sad, extremely sorrow.
【設計意圖】一方面引導學生通過賞析作者的細節(jié)描寫來表達人物的情感,另一方面為下一步的討論埋下伏筆。學生隱隱約約感受到女主人翁似乎有點開心的情感,但是又無法確定,這激發(fā)了學生進一步閱讀的興趣。
(3)Read the last two paragraphs and share what you have got with the class.Try to get the whole passage connected.
根據最后一段最后兩句“But she saw beyond that bitter moment a long procession of years to come that would belong to her absolutely.And she opened and spread her arms out to them in welcome.”學生能夠很快判斷出女主人翁對新生活的向往。但是為什么她會有如此快速的變化?這恰恰是我們要進行批判性思考的問題,所以我們讓學生聯(lián)系全文去思考這個問題。
Student 1: Mrs.Mallard will quickly begin her new life.
Student 2: Mrs.Mallard was not in love with her husband.
Student 3: Mrs.Mallard was actually happy with the news.
Student 4: Mrs.Mallard's husband did not love her because she was suffering from heart trouble.
Student 5: Mrs.Mallard pretended to be sad to hide her inner feelings.
【設計意圖】既讓學生從語篇整體閱讀文本,也為后續(xù)的仿寫做好鋪墊。
2.品味語言 感受語言魅力
文學是語言的藝術,也是藝術的語言。作為文學作品的重要載體,經典的語言表達在塑造經典的藝術形象和故事情節(jié)方面起著至關重要的作用。本文作者在描寫Mrs.Mallard豐富的內心活動的過程中,運用了明喻、暗喻、對比、強調等寫作手法。在對情節(jié)進行第一次梳理的過程中,學生通過閱讀文本理解了語言所表達的內容。在此基礎上,我們用下面兩個問題引導學生賞析作者在語言運用方面的技巧。
Question 1: How did the writer make you feel Mrs.Mallard's feelings?
Question 2: Which sentence or paragraph strikes you most?
文中多處運用了對比手法對Mrs.Mallard的內心沖突進行了描寫,如下圖:
同時,文中又使用了多處比喻和暗喻的表達方式。如下面兩句中的as和seem引導的比喻:(1) She sat with her head thrown back upon the cushion of the chair, quite motionless,except when a sob came up into her throat and shook her, as a child who has cried itself to sleep continues to sob in its dreams.(2) Into this she sank, pressed down by a physical exhaustion that haunted her body and seemed to reach into her soul.
再如,作者對“her sister Josephine”和“Her husband's friend Richards”兩個人的介紹在語言形式上都使用了強調句:(1) It was her sister Josephine who told her, in broken sentences; veiled hints that revealed in half concealing.(2)It was he who had been in the newspaper office when intelligence of the railroad disaster was received, with Brently Mallard's name leading the list of“killed.”體現(xiàn)了兩個人小心翼翼、體諒他人痛苦的心理。對Richards 獲知信息后的一系列行為的描寫,為結尾部分Mrs.Mallard的丈夫回來之后的反應埋下了伏筆。“He had only taken the time to assure himself of its truth by a second telegram, and had hastened to forestall any less careful, less tender friend in bearing the sad message.”這些描述表明Richards是一個非常謹慎、考慮問題非常周到的人,所以看到他的朋友突然活著回家的時候,他才會想著去擋在Mrs.Mallard和她的丈夫之間。
3.品評主旨 理解作品主題
文學經典的獨特價值在于作者通過其作品反映了當時的歷史或社會現(xiàn)象。因此,為了加深學生對原著的理解,我們認為對小說的主題探討是不可或缺的。作者凱特·蕭邦在小說中運用象征和諷刺的手法體現(xiàn)了“女性主義的覺醒”的主題。在初步閱讀的時候,高中學生感受到的是一種不同于他們自身所能理解的情感,但是其并不能馬上提取出作者在整個環(huán)節(jié)設置和語言表達上的目的,所以需要老師一步一步引導。
1.What does the underlined“it”in Paragraph 7 refer to?
2.What does“the door”stand for? (The door is mentioned twice.One is when hearing the news, Mrs.Mallard went into the room with no one following her; the other is when Mr.Mallard came in through the door.)
3.What did the writer intend to convey in the story?
通過對“it”的討論,激發(fā)學生細細體會女主人翁的復雜心情,聯(lián)系前后文感受她對新生活的渴望,同時又有種內疚的心理沖突,這是學生從語言表層可以讀到的情感線索。隨后,通過對“門”的深層含義的探討,使學生進行深度思考。Mrs.Mallard第一次聽說丈夫去世的消息后獨自進了房間,看到了窗外充滿新春的氣息,樹梢在輕微顫動,聽到了屋檐麻雀的鳴叫聲、縹緲的歌聲等無不表露了她內心對美好生活的渴望。那么當她的丈夫開門進來之后,意味著什么呢?是她幻想的破滅,還是意外的驚喜呢?她會有什么樣的反應呢?這是留給學生進行續(xù)寫的環(huán)節(jié),是課內的留白之處,也是讓學生在續(xù)寫中學會情節(jié)構思、學會情節(jié)鋪墊的時機。
閱讀是吸收,寫作是輸出,閱讀是寫作的基礎和前提,是學生獲取寫作素材的重要途徑。王初明教授在《高考英語“讀后續(xù)寫”題的促學功能》一文中提到:“續(xù)寫使得理解與產出發(fā)生交集,促使學生在續(xù)寫過程中回讀原文,借用前文出現(xiàn)的詞語表達新的思想,由此拉高語言產出能力。其促學優(yōu)勢主要體現(xiàn)在:緊密結合讀物樣板寫作文、激發(fā)語言使用沖動、消弭母語干擾、高效識記詞語、在使用中學習和完善語言表達。”
因此,我們設計了兩個寫作環(huán)節(jié)。第一個環(huán)節(jié)是課內的微寫作,即預測的第一個設問How would Mrs.Mallard react to the news that her husband was killed in the railroad disaster? 此處讓學生描寫Mrs.Mallard的情感,既可以激起學生的表達欲望,也有助于學生在后續(xù)的閱讀比較中更主動地去體會、思考作者的寫作用意。第二個環(huán)節(jié)是對原小說進行適當刪改,并提供首句,讓學生課后進行合作續(xù)寫。兩個段落所給開頭語如下:
P 1 : Now there would be no one to live for during those coming years,
P 2: Someone was opening the front door with a latchkey.It was Brently Mallard who entered,
第一段所給開頭語提示后續(xù)內容是Mrs.Mallard對新生活的進一步向往。學生可以充分發(fā)揮想象力,運用比喻、排比等修辭手法展開描寫。第二段是對故事結尾的續(xù)寫,也是反應小說主題的部分,更是對前文所有鋪墊內容的升華。
很多文學作品都以社會現(xiàn)實生活來展現(xiàn)其文化背景,人物和事件都具有鮮明的時代特征。因此,教師應將經典英文原著閱讀教學的重點放在對文章整體意韻的品讀上,少做割裂式的層層剖析;要關注學生的思維水平,讓學生在預測內容的過程中與作者的思維進行碰撞,少進行被動式的無思想的閱讀;讓學生在剖析人物過程中身臨其境,與人物角色共情共鳴,少做灌輸式的客觀分析;在賞析語言的過程中激發(fā)學生對語言的感悟,激起學生運用語言的欲望,少進行接受式的純語言背誦。讓學生在經典英文原著閱讀中感受到文化之韻、語言之美、情節(jié)之巧、主題之深刻。
附:教學材料
This story was first published in 1894 as The Dream of an Hour before being republished under this title in 1895.
Knowing that Mrs.Mallard was afflicted with a heart trouble, great care was taken to break to her as gently as possible the news of her husband's death.
It was her sister Josephine who told her, in broken sentences; veiled hints that revealed in half concealing.Her husband's friend Richards was there, too, near her.It was he who had been in the newspaper office when intelligence of the railroad disaster was received, with Brently Mallard's name leading the list of “killed.” He had only taken the time to assure himself of its truth by a second telegram, and had hastened to forestall any less careful, less tender friend in bearing the sad message.
She did not hear the story as many women have heard the same, with a paralyzed inability to accept its significance.She wept at once, with sudden, wild abandonment, in her sister's arms.When the storm of grief had spent itself she went away to her room alone.She would have no one follow her.
There stood, facing the open window, a comfortable, roomy armchair.Into this she sank, pressed down by a physical exhaustion that haunted her body and seemed to reach into her soul.
She could see in the open square before her house the tops of trees that were all wave with the new spring life.The delicious breath of rain was in the air.In the street below a peddler was crying his wares.The notes of a distant song which someone was singing reached her faintly, and countless sparrows were twittering in the eaves(屋檐).
She sat with her head thrown back upon the cushion of the chair, quite motionless, except when a sob came up into her throat and shook her, as a child who has cried itself to sleep continues to sob in its dreams.
There was something coming to her and she was waiting for it, fearfully.What was it? She did not know; it was too subtle and elusive to name.But she felt it, creeping out of the sky, reaching toward her through the sounds, the scents, the color thatfilled the air.
She knew that she would weep again when she saw the kind, tender hands folded in death; the face that had never looked save with love upon her,fixed and gray and dead.But she saw beyond that bitter moment a long procession of years to come that would belong to her absolutely.And she opened and spread her arms out to them in welcome.
P1: Now there would be no one to live for during those coming years, (Now there would be no one to live for her during those coming years, she would live for herself.There would be no powerful will bending hers in that blind persistence with which men and women believe they have a right to impose a private will upon a fellow creature.A kind intention or a cruel intention made the act seem no less a crime as she looked upon it in that brief moment of illumination.)
P2: Someone was opening the front door with a latchkey.It was Brently Mallard who entered, (Someone was opening the front door with a latchkey.It was Brently Mallard who entered,a little travel-stained, composedly carrying his gripsack and umbrella.He had been far from the scene of accident, and did not know there had been one.He stood amazed at Josephine's piercing cry, at Richards's quick motion to screen him from the view of his wife.)