胡君祥
達莉亞極不情愿地跟著父母來到叔叔的農場里,當叔叔向她介紹了一匹野馬的經歷后,她主動提出要留下來照料野馬……
“I don't want to go.” Daria moved her feet slightly and hung her shoulders. Mom continued packing a bag. “We're going to Uncle Rich's in
Montana for summer vacation. He's your father's brother, and we go there every year.”
Daria stormed out of her mom's room and said angrily, “Nobody ever thinks of me!” “That's enough. We're going,” replied Mom angrily, too.
Their August vacation came sooner than Daria wanted. Before she knew it, she and the family were at Uncle Rich's ranch. Uncle Rich grabbed her dad and hugged him. “Good to see you,” said
Uncle Rich. Daria's brother and sister were twins and two years younger, so they didn't realize how inconvenient and boring being on a ranch was. They raced to see animals. Daria grabbed her bag. “I'm going to my room,” she told her parents.
“Wait a minute, Daria,” said Uncle Rich. “I have got something to show you.” “You come, too,” he said to Daria's parents. At the barn Daria saw the horse. It was of medium size. It had a fine, soft black coat and one white foot. There was a wide white patch that ran down the center of its face. Daria fell in love with it at first sight. “Wow! What a horse.”
“He's a mustang,” said Uncle Rich. “Mustangs are free horses who live in the wild. We found him stuck in the mud down by the river. I didn't know how he got there. My friend and I roped him and managed to get him out. This mustang is a beauty.”
Daria kicked the dirt. “Can I help care for him?” Then she felt her heart beating in expectation.
Uncle Rich laughed. “You bet. The more hands we have, the better. Just don't get too attached. Once we're sure he's okay, we will have to let him loose. Mustangs went from over a million at the beginning of the 20th century to less than 17,000 in 1970. They were hunted for meat.”
Reading check
閱讀本文,根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構成一篇完整的短文。
注意:
1. 所續(xù)寫短文的詞數應為150左右;
2. 續(xù)寫部分分為兩段,每段的開頭語已為你寫好。
Paragraph 1:
Daria felt her stomach turning.? _________________________
Paragraph 2:
She was back to the barn in a flash.? ? _________________________
寫作導引
一、分析語篇,梳理基本要素
要想續(xù)寫內容與所給短文之間邏輯連貫、銜接緊密,必須充分理解所給材料的大意,掌握作者想要傳達的意思。本文是一篇記敘文,文章分析如下:
二、閱讀續(xù)寫開頭語,展開合理想象
基于原文本和續(xù)寫段落首句提供的信息,采用圍繞中心提問相關問題的方法,構思要續(xù)寫的故事情節(jié),一般分為四步:
第一步,根據已給出的文本判斷文章的
立意。
根據達莉亞的叔叔所講的野馬的情況可推斷出本文的立意應是愛護動物。
第二步,根據續(xù)寫第二段所給出的段首句倒推續(xù)寫第一段應包括什么內容。
分析第二段的段首句“她立即回到了馬廄。”可知,續(xù)寫第一段要寫達莉亞離開馬廄去做什么,這樣才能確保續(xù)寫的兩段是銜接的。
第三步,圍繞續(xù)寫第一段所給出的段首句以及以上的分析進行提問構思:
(1)Why did Daria feel her stomach turning?
(2)What did Daria say when she felt her stomach turning?
(3)Where did Daria go after leaving the barn?
(4)What did Daria do after leaving the barn?
第四步,圍繞續(xù)寫第二段所給出的段首句進行提問構思:
(1)Why did Daria return to the barn in a flash?
(2)What did Daria do after returning to the barn?
(3)How did Daria interact with the mustang?
(4)What decision did she make after interacting with the mustang?
三、潤色成篇
在續(xù)寫的過程中要注意情節(jié)連貫,各部分內容相銜接,即:
1. 兩段的續(xù)寫與所給短文的銜接;
2. 每段的續(xù)寫與續(xù)寫段首句之間的銜接;
3. 續(xù)寫的兩段之間的銜接。
同時要注意語言風格的一致和語法、句型以及所用詞語的準確性。例如,刻畫人物形象時運用恰當的形容詞使其栩栩如生;描寫人物心理活動時使用一些動詞或副詞使其細微深入。