英語讀后續(xù)寫的困局與突破路徑

北京 昝亞娟

新高考英語試卷中的讀后續(xù)寫題自問世起就引起了廣大師生的高度關(guān)注。該題旨在考查考生的多種能力：閱讀理解能力、解讀語篇的能力、構(gòu)思故事結(jié)局的能力和語言表達(dá)能力等。該題同時還承載著考查考生的思維品質(zhì)和創(chuàng)新能力的使命。由于該題型的綜合性較強(qiáng)，有些考生在寫作時不得要領(lǐng)，造成嚴(yán)重的失分。該題滿分為25 分，但高考平均分只有11-13 分。本文擬分析讀后續(xù)寫的困局，并探索破解路徑。

一、英語讀后續(xù)寫的困局

在2022 年的高考閱卷過程中，我們發(fā)現(xiàn)考生在完成新高考I 卷的讀后續(xù)寫時普遍存在以下幾種問題：

1.續(xù)寫的故事情節(jié)不合理。例如：有的考生寫出的結(jié)局是“David became the first/second/third/fourth to arrive at the finishing line”，與原文中關(guān)于David 的描述“David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children”嚴(yán)重不符。由于David 走路不便，他應(yīng)該在其他同學(xué)到達(dá)終點(diǎn)后很長時間才能完成越野賽跑，這樣才符合邏輯。還有些考生寫道：“When he finally arrived at the finishing line,the audience stood up from their seats excitedly and cheered for him loudly.” 越野賽跑在野外進(jìn)行，沒有固定的看臺，所以觀眾只能站在道路兩旁觀看，或站在終點(diǎn)等待選手抵達(dá)，這樣的結(jié)尾也不符合常理。

2.對原文理解不全面，遺漏原文中的關(guān)鍵信息。例如：有考生寫到“David had a disease,so it was difficult for him to complete the cross-country run.”這與原文最后一段的陳述“It just took him longer—that’s all.David had not missed a single practice,and although he always finished his run long after the other children,he did always finish.”意思相悖,考生沒有注意到這一重要信息，導(dǎo)致續(xù)寫內(nèi)容與原文矛盾。

3.續(xù)寫內(nèi)容與原文的寫作風(fēng)格不一致。有些考生直接使用了平時背誦過的句子，與原文的寫作風(fēng)格迥異，顯得格格不入。例如：描述David 心理變化時的句子“David sawthe silver lining in the cloud”，描述越野賽進(jìn)行的句子“As time wore on，David...”，描述故事結(jié)尾的句子“After a long silence came a storm of applause”“Davidshone like diamond”?？忌鞠霝槎涛脑黾恿咙c(diǎn)，但由于這些句子與寫作情境不吻合，行文不連貫，成為了扣分點(diǎn)。

4.續(xù)寫內(nèi)容與所給的段落首句不連貫。有些考生另起爐灶寫作，內(nèi)容與首句不連貫。例如：讀后續(xù)寫第二段的首句：“I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.”考生緊接著寫的是“David always tried his best.I was proud of him”，此句未能銜接所給首句。

5.續(xù)寫中出現(xiàn)較多的語法錯誤和漢語式的表達(dá)。例如：“Do you wantyour efforts to end up in vain?”“Whenthe whistle rang,all the runners began to runlike arrows”“When Davidpresentthere,nobodyshowed surprise”“His big toothy smileoccurredon his face again”，這些成為了續(xù)寫的敗筆。

6.續(xù)寫內(nèi)容的豐富性和完整性不夠，語言生硬，表達(dá)牽強(qiáng)，蒼白無力，傳遞的信息太少。

寫作是為了傳遞信息和表達(dá)思想，續(xù)寫的語言表達(dá)的質(zhì)量和語法錯誤的數(shù)量決定了考生得分的檔次?？忌霈F(xiàn)的這些錯誤拉低了續(xù)寫部分語言表達(dá)的質(zhì)量，降低了寫作的檔次，因而導(dǎo)致失分。

還有一個值得關(guān)注的現(xiàn)象是，大量的考生在寫作中使用相同或相近的詞匯、短語、句型甚至句子，造成千人一面的現(xiàn)象。盡管沒有出現(xiàn)套用寫作模板的情況，但句群和句子層面的“套用”現(xiàn)象非常普遍。由于考生對所背誦的詞語、句子和段落“食而不化”，導(dǎo)致續(xù)寫中出現(xiàn)了各種低級的語言錯誤，拉低了寫作的檔次。

二、讀后續(xù)寫的突破路徑

導(dǎo)致讀后續(xù)寫困局出現(xiàn)的原因有下列幾種：一是考生不了解英語的敘事模式，不會構(gòu)思故事情節(jié)；二是考生解讀文本的能力差，不能利用原文提供的信息；三是考生缺乏語言積累，不能運(yùn)用恰當(dāng)?shù)膯卧~、短語和句子流利地表達(dá)思想。四是考生的思維品質(zhì)較差，不善于分析問題和解決問題。為此，我們應(yīng)積極采取對應(yīng)策略，引導(dǎo)學(xué)生掌握英語的敘事模式、深入解讀本文、進(jìn)行原著閱讀和思維品質(zhì)的訓(xùn)練，從而提高讀后續(xù)寫的能力。

（一）英語的敘事模式

讀后續(xù)寫的素材大多是記敘文，遵循特定的敘事模式，因此我們應(yīng)引導(dǎo)學(xué)生學(xué)習(xí)英語的敘事模式，從而提高學(xué)生寫英語記敘文的能力。

1.拉波夫的敘事模式

如上圖所示，根據(jù)美國語言學(xué)家拉波夫(Labov)提出的敘事模式(Narrative Pattern),一個故事通常包括六個部分：“點(diǎn)題（Abstract）、指向（Orientation）、進(jìn)展（Complicating action）、評議（Evaluation）、解決（Resolution）和回應(yīng)（Coda）”。

“點(diǎn)題”即故事的概要，介紹故事的主要內(nèi)容?！爸赶颉笔亲髡邔适碌臅r間、地點(diǎn)、人物、事件做出交待?！斑M(jìn)展”指隨著故事的發(fā)展，各種矛盾沖突的出現(xiàn)。“評議”是指作者或故事中的人物對事件的看法、態(tài)度和心理活動，以及對故事的起因、結(jié)果以及過程中事件要點(diǎn)的評議?！敖鉀Q”指矛盾沖突被化解或問題得到解決。“回應(yīng)”指作者或主人公從故事中悟出的道理或發(fā)出的感嘆，是故事的價值和現(xiàn)實(shí)意義的體現(xiàn)，它將讀者拉回現(xiàn)實(shí)，是連接故事和現(xiàn)實(shí)的紐帶。

但是，并非所有的故事都包含這六個要素，這六個要素也不一定按照同一種方式在故事中分布。我們按照拉波夫的敘事模式來分析2022 年新高考Ⅰ卷的讀后續(xù)寫素材：

如果學(xué)生們能用拉波夫的敘事模式來分析寫作素材，構(gòu)思續(xù)寫部分，就可以把續(xù)寫部分寫得合乎情理，結(jié)構(gòu)嚴(yán)謹(jǐn),獲得理想的分?jǐn)?shù)。

2.Story Mountain

“Story Mountain”是英美人講故事的一種常用模式。如上圖所示，首先是故事的開端（Opening/Beginning），包括時間、地點(diǎn)、主要人物和事件。其次是故事的發(fā)展（Build-up），矛盾沖突開始出現(xiàn)，氣氛開始緊張起來。第三是高潮（Dilemma/Climax），即矛盾沖突最為激烈的時候，也是故事的轉(zhuǎn)折點(diǎn)。第四是解決(Resolution)，即矛盾沖突得到化解，或情況好轉(zhuǎn)。最后是結(jié)尾(Ending)，即這個故事帶給人們的啟發(fā)或是當(dāng)事人的感受。

按照“Story Mountain”模式來分析一下2022 年新高考Ⅰ卷的讀后續(xù)寫的素材：

一般來說，讀后續(xù)寫要求學(xué)生寫的是Resolution 和Ending。借助“Story Mountain”模式來梳理讀后續(xù)寫的寫作素材，學(xué)生們能準(zhǔn)確地把握故事情節(jié)，準(zhǔn)確預(yù)測故事的走向，更好地完成續(xù)寫任務(wù)。

（二）深入解讀文本，挖掘隱含信息

解讀文本是寫好讀后續(xù)寫的關(guān)鍵步驟。我們應(yīng)高度重視語篇教學(xué)，引導(dǎo)學(xué)生認(rèn)真研讀語篇，深入解讀文本，梳理故事情節(jié)，挖掘文中的隱含信息，從而準(zhǔn)確地把握文章的主題、故事的脈絡(luò)、人物的性格特點(diǎn)、人物之間的關(guān)系、文本的語言特點(diǎn)、寫作手法和寫作目的，為進(jìn)行讀后續(xù)寫搭好支架。

（三）閱讀英語原著，積累寫作素材

根據(jù)美國語言學(xué)家克拉申(Krashen)教授提出的“語言輸入假說(Input Hypothesis)”，“可理解性輸入(comprehensible input)”是語言習(xí)得的必要條件和關(guān)鍵。只有有效的語言輸入，才會有優(yōu)質(zhì)的語言輸出，輸入和輸出是兩個相輔相成的學(xué)習(xí)過程。為提高學(xué)生的寫作能力，我們應(yīng)選擇適合高三學(xué)生英語水平的英語原著，組織學(xué)生開展原著閱讀活動。讀完每一本原著后，組織學(xué)生分析故事的大意、主題、故事的情節(jié)、人物的性格、人物之間的關(guān)系、寫作手法、語言風(fēng)格和修辭手法等。通過大量地閱讀原汁原味的語言材料，使學(xué)生感悟語言的魅力，感受西方文化和中西方思維方式的差異，為寫作積累語言素材。

為了幫助學(xué)生掌握寫作技巧，教師可以引導(dǎo)學(xué)生在文中劃出描寫動作、神態(tài)、心理和景物的動詞、形容詞短語，并鼓勵學(xué)生積極運(yùn)用所學(xué)詞句進(jìn)行仿寫練習(xí)，用來表達(dá)所見所聞所思所悟，提高語言輸出的質(zhì)量，為讀后續(xù)寫做好充分的準(zhǔn)備。

（四）設(shè)計(jì)讀后續(xù)寫專題寫作課，為學(xué)生續(xù)寫搭建支架

為幫助學(xué)生寫好讀后續(xù)寫，筆者針對2022 年新高考Ⅰ卷的讀后續(xù)寫設(shè)計(jì)了專題寫作課。教學(xué)流程如下：

1.設(shè)計(jì)問題鏈，幫助學(xué)生理解原文

Read the text and answer the following questions.

(1) Why couldn’t David walk normally like other children?

(2) Which words can be used to describe David?

(3) How did the author feel about David?

(4) What were students from seven different primary schools doing on the big cross-country run?

(5) Why was David standing alone by a fence?

(6) How was David feeling about not taking part in the big cross-country run?

(7) What might the coach have said to David?

(8) What did the author do after talking to the coach?

(9) What did the author say to David?

(10) How did David change his mind and decide to take part in the cross-country run?

(11) How was David getting along with the run?

(12) How did other children respond to his participation?

2.研讀本文,梳理寫作要素

(1) The type of writing: recount/narrative (記敘文)

(2) Tense: The Past Tense (一般過去時)

(3) Person: The first and third person (第一、三人稱）

(4) Order: Flashback (倒敘)

(5) Characters: David,the coach,the author and other students

(6) Theme: David overcame difficulty to complete the cross-country run

3.從文中劃出描述不同人物的句子，分析人物的性格特點(diǎn)或心理活動

(1)描述David 的句子：

①David was standing by himself off to the side by a fence.

②His usual big toothy smile was absent today.

③He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run.

④He had worked so hard for this event!

⑤David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running properly.

⑥He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing.

David 的性格和品質(zhì)：never give up easily,eager to fit in,strong-willed,persistent,

(2)描述school’s coach 的句子

①I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him.

②I gave him the choice to run or not,and let him decide.coach 的性格：narrow-minded,self-righteous(自以為是的),rash(魯莽的)

(3)描述作者（A special education teacher）的句子

①I bit back my frustration(懊惱).

②I knew the coach meant well—he thought he was doing the right thing.

③I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination.

推斷作者的性格：sensible,considerate,understanding,inspiring

（4）描述其他同學(xué)的句子

①His classmates thought of him as a regular kid.

②None of them thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team.

其他同學(xué)的心理特點(diǎn)：understanding,tolerant,supportive

4.梳理故事情節(jié)，推測故事情節(jié)發(fā)展

5.研讀所給首句，預(yù)設(shè)故事情節(jié)

根據(jù)第一段的首句“We sat down next to each other,but David wouldn’t look at me.”可推斷第一段的寫作思路：What did the author say to David? How did David respond?How did David change his mind and decide to take part in the run?

根據(jù)第二段的首句“I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.”可推斷第二段的寫作思路：How was David getting along with the run? Did David manage to complete the run? How did other children respond to his participation?

6.根據(jù)預(yù)設(shè)的故事情節(jié)，寫出草稿

要求學(xué)生結(jié)合段落的首句和提出的問題，寫出續(xù)寫部分的草稿。

7.閱讀草稿，核對原文，進(jìn)行修訂

要求學(xué)生閱讀寫出的草稿，認(rèn)真核對原文，查看續(xù)寫部分是否符合行文邏輯,在情感上是否與前文協(xié)同。

8.把修改后的草稿謄寫到答題卡上

確保寫出的內(nèi)容符合寫作要求，工工整整地把寫出的續(xù)寫部分謄寫到答題卡上。

We sat down next to each other,but David wouldn’t look at me.Patting him on the shoulder,I said,“I can understand how you are feeling.Can you tell me why you have decided not to run?”Turning to me with tearful eyes,he replied he had meant to run,but was afraid of being laughed at by other children.“But you have been looking forward to it.I hope you can challenge yourself and join the run,”I said encouragingly.With a toothy smile on his face,he promised to run.(80 詞)

I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.He looked small among other children,but he faced the challenge bravely.As the gunshot signaled the beginning,all the children dashed out like arrows.As usual David fell behind others,but he kept running,his small body rocking from side to side.When all other children reached the finishing line,David was still running in the thick evergreen forest.When he arrived at the finishing line an hour later,he met with thunderous applause.His determination and persistence made him a big hero.（85 詞）

（四）設(shè)計(jì)教學(xué)活動，提升學(xué)生的思維品質(zhì)

學(xué)生的思維品質(zhì)對于分析寫作素材，預(yù)設(shè)下文的故事情節(jié)至關(guān)重要。因此，我們應(yīng)把培養(yǎng)學(xué)生的思維品質(zhì)作為英語教學(xué)的重要組成部分。結(jié)合教學(xué)內(nèi)容，引導(dǎo)學(xué)生分析語篇結(jié)構(gòu)、針對文本進(jìn)行合理的推斷、勇于發(fā)表個人的觀點(diǎn)和見解。

1.結(jié)合閱讀材料，畫出文章結(jié)構(gòu)的思維導(dǎo)圖

分析閱讀材料的篇章結(jié)構(gòu)，畫出思維導(dǎo)圖能幫助學(xué)生掌握英語文章的謀篇布局，有助于提高學(xué)生的思維品質(zhì)和語篇意識。例如：2022 年新高考Ⅰ卷C 篇閱讀理解的思維導(dǎo)圖如下：

2.引導(dǎo)學(xué)生依據(jù)文本信息進(jìn)行合理推斷

讀后續(xù)寫素材中的隱含信息能幫助我們了解故事情節(jié)的發(fā)展、人物的性格特點(diǎn)和心理活動，是續(xù)寫下文的重要暗示。以2022 年新高考Ⅰ卷讀后續(xù)寫的素材為例，我們應(yīng)引導(dǎo)學(xué)生依據(jù)文本的信息進(jìn)行分析和推斷，挖掘出文章未直接陳述的事實(shí)細(xì)節(jié)：

(1)Why did the coach explained uncomfortably.“I gave him the choice to run or not,and let him decide.”

Possible answer：The coach was not honest.He might have told David not to join the cross-country run.

(2)What can we learn from the sentence“I turned to find him coming towards me,his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward.”?

Possible answer：David was disabled because of his disease.That was why he didn’t walk normally like other children.

(3)What does the author mean by saying“That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team”?

Possible answer：David was widely accepted by his classmates although he had a brain disease./David was considered to have the ability to complete the cross-country run although he was disabled.

3.鼓勵學(xué)生發(fā)表個人的觀點(diǎn)和見解

我們要把培養(yǎng)學(xué)生的創(chuàng)新意識作為一項(xiàng)重要的教學(xué)任務(wù)。在課堂上，我們應(yīng)致力于為學(xué)生提供交際情境，鼓勵學(xué)生思考熱點(diǎn)問題，大膽發(fā)表自己的觀點(diǎn)，提供解決問題的創(chuàng)新方案。2022 年新高考Ⅰ卷的B 篇閱讀理解講述作者浪費(fèi)食物的一次經(jīng)歷，作者希望借此呼吁讀者節(jié)約食物。在完成閱讀任務(wù)后，我們可以向?qū)W生提出問題：Everyone can play a part in reducing waste.What do you think we can do to save food in our daily life?Possible answers:

We should not buy too many vegetables or fruits because they will go bad if we put them in the refrigerator for a long time.

We should not order more than we need when eating out.If there is any left,we should take it home.

Don’t put too much food on your plate when eating at a buffet.It is a good habit to eat out all the food on your plate.

總之，如何提高學(xué)生的讀后續(xù)寫能力是一個迫在眉睫的教學(xué)問題，需要我們深入研究，大膽實(shí)踐。如果我們能引導(dǎo)學(xué)生學(xué)習(xí)英語的敘事模式,深入解讀本文，不斷增加語言積累，提升思維品質(zhì)，就能幫助他們大大提高讀后續(xù)寫能力。