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      Whether Our Parents Should Accompany Us Studying at School?

      2009-12-28 05:15盧偉棟
      關(guān)鍵詞:成風(fēng)連貫行文

      盧偉棟

      留意一下我們的周邊,可以發(fā)現(xiàn)陪讀現(xiàn)象已然成風(fēng)。請(qǐng)你根據(jù)以下要點(diǎn)寫一篇短文,談?wù)勀銓?duì)陪讀現(xiàn)象的看法。

      現(xiàn)象:父母離開家鄉(xiāng),放棄工作,租房陪讀。

      理由: (1) 更好地照顧子女; (2) 讓子女有更多的時(shí)間學(xué)習(xí);(3) 對(duì)子女有激勵(lì)作用。

      你的看法: ……

      注意: 1. 詞數(shù):100~120詞;

      2. 可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié),以使行文連貫。

      參考詞匯:accompany 陪伴

      【One Possible Version】

      Recently, many parents choose to rent a house near schools and accompany their children during their school years. Some of them have to leave their homes while some are even forced to give up their jobs. But they still think it is worthwhile, because in this way, their children will be better taken care of and thus can devote more time to their studies. Whats more, such sacrifices, they believe, can urge their kids to study harder.

      However, I doubt the effect of these parents actions. By doing so, they will surely provide more comfort, time and encouragement for their kids. But what about the quality of independence which is so important in their childrens future life?

      【Comment】

      This composition is well organized and no required points are left out. Besides, many beautiful words and expressions are used freely and correctly. For example, school years, give up, worthwhile, be better taken care of, thus, devote...to..., sacrifice, urge, provide...for..., encouragement, independence.

      However, what impresses me most is the way the author presented his view. Instead of putting forward his opinion directly, he used a question to express his objection to such a phenomenon.

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