呂凌云,母 海
(1.衡陽師范學院 外國語學院,湖南 衡陽 421002;2.湛江幼兒師范高等??茖W校,廣東 湛江 524400)
散文《匆匆》英譯本的語言特點對比分析
呂凌云1,母 海2
(1.衡陽師范學院 外國語學院,湖南 衡陽 421002;2.湛江幼兒師范高等??茖W校,廣東 湛江 524400)
漢英兩種語言在詞匯和句子特點方面差異巨大,這種巨大差異要求譯者在翻譯過程中必須選詞準確貼切,完全表達作者的意思和情感。文章以朱自清的散文名篇《匆匆》為例,通過對它四種英譯本的閱讀、研究,發(fā)現(xiàn)它們在詞匯選擇和句子處理方面各有千秋,這充分反映了譯者不同的翻譯功底、文學基礎、審美情趣和美學素養(yǎng);通過不同譯文的對比賞析,不但可以提高對原文及譯文的審美鑒賞能力,而且可以提高個人的翻譯創(chuàng)新能力。
《匆匆》;英譯本;語言特點
現(xiàn)代杰出散文家朱自清的名作——《匆匆》寫于1922年3月(“五四”運動的落潮期)。文章緊扣“匆匆”二字,細膩地刻畫了時間流逝的蹤跡,表達了作者對時光流逝的無奈和惋惜,反映了當時的知識分子迫于當時政治環(huán)境壓迫,在經(jīng)歷苦悶和彷徨之后,不甘沉淪,勇于追求理想的情懷。在《匆匆》一文中,作者依托春景言情,消極彷徨中卻對未來依然滿懷積極的美好憧憬。文中關(guān)于時間匆匆的思考不僅對當時的年輕人有所觸動,對今天的讀者也具有警醒作用。[1]229《匆匆》的英譯以張培基、張夢井、朱純深和葛浩文的譯本最具代表性。在文學話語層面,四個譯本在詞匯的選擇、句子的處理方面都各有千秋,反映了譯者不同的文學素養(yǎng)、審美情趣和翻譯風格。
《匆匆》語言平實,用詞簡練;句式多樣,銜接自然。通過深厚的語言功底,作者不僅呈現(xiàn)了飛去的燕子,枯萎的楊柳,凋謝的桃花,“長了腳”的太陽等意象,構(gòu)畫了一幅春景圖,更把自己對于當時社會現(xiàn)實的無奈失望,對時光飛逝的無助彷徨,同時又不甘消沉,滿懷憧憬的情緒淋漓盡致地表現(xiàn)了出來。在《匆匆》的諸多英譯中,無論是文學話語層的語言特點,還是文學形象層的意象呈現(xiàn),抑或是文學意蘊層的情緒表達,數(shù)張培基、張夢井、朱純深和葛浩文的譯本最為經(jīng)典,流傳度最廣。此文且從詞語的選擇和句子的處理兩個方面入手,分析這四篇譯文在文學話語層所表現(xiàn)出的語言特點,以助進一步探究譯文的主題和意蘊。為便于分析并以示區(qū)分,筆者將張培基譯本簡稱為張1譯,張夢井譯本簡稱為張2譯,朱純深譯本簡稱為朱譯,葛浩文譯本簡稱為葛譯。
1.詞匯的選擇
漢字的拼寫形式固定,詞形也相對穩(wěn)定,而英語詞形變化多端,名詞有單復數(shù)的不同,代詞隨人稱、數(shù)、格、性的形式不同而不同,動詞則隨時間的不同有現(xiàn)在分詞、過去分詞等。[2]160-161漢英詞匯方面的巨大差異,要求譯者在翻譯過程中必須選詞準確貼切,完全表達作者的意思和情感;同時,字詞的選擇如果只忠于字面含義而脫離上下文甚至整篇語境, 就無法譯出語義連貫、感情色彩準確、渾然一體的譯文。所以在翻譯實踐中詞匯的選擇切忌“只見樹木不見森林”,把詞語孤立于語境之外, 盲目地尋找字面上的“等值”。[3]260-261老舍認為:搞創(chuàng)作的有遣字造詞的自由, 搞翻譯的卻沒有; 翻譯工作者必須隨著原文走, 不能望文生義, 隨便添減[4]15-18。下面通過四位翻譯大家的譯例來對比分析他們對在翻譯過程中對詞匯的甄選。
例1 . 標題《匆匆》
張1譯: Transient Days
張2譯: Days Gone By
朱譯: Rush
葛譯: Haste
匆匆是散文的標題,也是整篇文章提綱挈領(lǐng)的靈魂。匆匆一詞在漢語中既可做形容詞,亦可做副詞,指動作迅速與急忙(的樣子)。張1和張2譯中都用到了名詞短語,其中張1譯的transient為形容詞,作前置定語,指短暫的,轉(zhuǎn)瞬即逝的,意思與源文高度一致,準確貼切。張2譯中用過去分詞短語gone by作后置定語,指過去的,流逝的。意思到位但沒有體現(xiàn)時光轉(zhuǎn)瞬即逝,彈指一揮的意蘊。朱譯和葛譯都只用一詞,而且rush和haste都既可作名詞,亦可作動詞,這兩個翻譯除意思忠于源文之外,較之張1譯和張2譯更加簡潔明快,更有神韻,暗自契合時光飛逝,匆匆而去的主題。其中葛譯的haste,意為匆忙、急忙;朱譯的rush 指匆促和沖、奔之意。而rush更能體現(xiàn)時光飛奔,一路向前的氣勢和空留世人慨嘆時不我待,彷徨無奈的心緒,這與整篇散文所蘊含的思想高度一致,可謂恰到好處,妙不可言!
例2. 楊柳
張1譯: willows
張2譯: the poplar and willow trees
朱譯: willow trees
葛譯: the willows
此處用willows更多表示一種象征意義, 并非實指一種事物,所以張1譯本最簡潔明了,準確貼切; 葛譯在willows前加the與該段的the swallows, the peach blossoms對應;朱譯willow trees中的trees顯得多余,而張2譯用poplar and willows雖然對應了漢語字面的楊柳之意,但不僅羅嗦, 讀起來沒有美感, 還失去了象征意義。
例3. 聰明的,你......
張1譯: you the wise
張2譯: the genius
朱譯: you the wise
葛譯: you who are wiser than I
此處張1譯you the wise與朱譯完全一致,可謂英雄所見略同。此譯本不但與全文純樸簡練的文風一致,更拉近了與讀者的距離,似在與讀者對話,娓娓道來!張2 譯the genius 指圣賢或?qū)θ祟惖倪M步作出巨大和持久的貢獻者,不但意義有偏差,缺少you的稱呼更拉開了與讀者的距離。葛譯用了定語從句who are wiser than I 限定you, 雖然意思正確,但太顯拖沓冗長,與全文文風不符。
例4. 我不知道他們給了我多少日子;但我的手確乎是漸漸空虛了。
張1譯: I don’t know how many days I am entitled to altogether, but my quota of them is undoubtedly wearing away.
張2譯:I don’t know how many days I have been given, but the days in my hands are becoming numbered.
朱譯:I don’t know how many days I have been given to spend, but I do feel my hands are getting empty.
葛譯:I do not know how many days I’ve been given, yet slowly but surely my supply is diminishing.
此句中四個劃線詞或短語“給” “我的手”“確乎” 和“漸漸空虛”的翻譯差別較大,值得關(guān)注。張1譯中,“給” 譯為 am entitled to,表示“給予某人獲得某物或做某事的權(quán)利”,說明每個人的日子有多少,生命有多長是不能靠自己的意志來選擇的。“我的手”譯為my quota of them(days),其中quota意指fixed share that must be done or contributed or received,即定額、限額或配額,與上文的entitle相照應,體現(xiàn)個人受支配的地位,表達了無力改變自然規(guī)律的感嘆?!按_乎”譯為undoubtedly,指無疑地,肯定地,忠于源文。“漸漸空虛”譯為is wearing away,其中“wear away”有“消逝,衰退”之意,正好對應了作者形象化的描述,強化了面對時光一點點溜走的現(xiàn)實時作者的無奈之情。 張2譯中,“給” 譯為 have been given,用詞尚可;“確乎”一詞未譯,“我的手”譯為the days in my hands,意思準確,但the days與前半句的days重復,而“漸漸空虛” 則譯為becoming numbered,指有限的,可數(shù)的,時日不多,明顯不妥。朱譯中,“給” 譯為have been given to spend,to spend略顯多余;“我的手” 直譯為my hands,未從整句把握源文此處的虛指;“確乎”沒有用對應的副詞直譯,反而用助動詞do表示強調(diào),做到了詞性的靈活轉(zhuǎn)化;“漸漸空虛” 譯為getting empty則過于寫實。葛譯“給” 譯為 ‘Ive been given,與張2 譯一致;“確乎” 譯為slowly but surely,除了對應“確乎”的surely以外,還增譯了slowly,強調(diào)時光一點點的流逝?!拔业氖帧?意譯為my supply(供給、供應之意)不夠準確;“漸漸空虛”譯為diminishing,指時光日漸減少,不斷流逝,較為準確。此句葛譯最大的亮點是兩個分句結(jié)尾的given和diminishing押韻,讀起來朗朗上口,富有韻律感。
例5. 早上我起來的時候,小屋里射進兩三方謝謝的太陽。
張1譯:When I get up in the morning, the slanting sun casts two or three squarish patches of light into my small room.
張2譯:When I get up in the morning, I see two or three ribbons of light streaming into my room.
朱譯:When I get up in the morning, the slanting sun marks its presence in my small room in two or three oblongs.
葛譯:In the morning when I get up, there are two or three rays of sunlight slanting into my small room.
此句針對“射進”一詞,張1譯和朱譯都用the slanting sun做主語,分別用cast和mark its presence做謂語動詞,兩個翻譯都賦予了太陽生命,讓整句翻譯顯得更動態(tài)化,更形象傳神,契合后句“太陽他有腳啊,......”的描述,也突出了時間的一維性——不以人的意志為轉(zhuǎn)移徑直向前流去不復回。張2譯以I做主語,用動詞see做謂語,只強調(diào)了作者看到太陽照進了屋子;葛譯用there be句型說明屋子里有兩三束太陽光照射進來。這兩種翻譯相對更靜態(tài)化,沒有譯出太陽不停在走,時光不斷在流的神韻來。
例6. 太陽他有腳啊,輕輕悄悄地挪移了;我也茫茫然跟著旋轉(zhuǎn)。
張1譯:The sun has feet too, edging away softly and stealthily. And, without knowing it, I am already caught in its revolution.
張2譯:The sun also has feet; it moves away on tiptoe and I follow it aimlessly.
朱譯:The sun has feet, look, he is treading on, lightly and furtively; and I am caught, blankly, in his revolution.
葛譯:The sun, does it have feet Stealthily it moves along, as I too, unknowingly, follow its progress.
此句中“輕輕悄悄”和“茫茫然”都是疊聲詞,這兩個副詞詞組用來表示時光悄無聲息地溜走,而作者卻茫然不知的意味。張1譯用softly和stealthily表示“輕輕悄悄”,不但意思準確,而且首尾押韻,含義和音律方面都與漢語高度一致,堪稱完美。用without knowing it表示“茫茫然”,意思也相當精準,做到了與后句的“我覺察他去的匆匆了”意義上的連貫。張2譯用on tiptoe表示“輕輕悄悄”,把太陽擬人化,形象生動,富有神韻,但未譯出漢語疊聲詞的效果;用aimlessly表示“茫茫然”,與朱譯用blankly一樣,雖然譯出了作者面對時光流逝時的無奈彷徨,但稍欠準確。朱譯“輕輕悄悄”用lightly and furtively, 內(nèi)容忠實,形式押韻。葛譯“輕輕悄悄”和“茫茫然”分別用stealthily和unknowingly, 雖意思到位,但形式一致方面略顯遜色。
例7. 在逃去如飛的日子里,在千門萬戶的世界里……
張1譯: Living in this world with its fleeting days and teeming millions
張2譯: In these swiftly escaping days, what can I do in this world amongst thousands of households
朱譯: in this bustling world, with my days flying in their escape
葛譯: During these fleeting days what can I, only one among so many, accomplish
此句中“逃去如飛的日子”張1譯和葛譯均為fleeting days, 準確忠實。張2譯為swiftly escaping days, 朱譯為my days flying in their escape。兩句雖用了擬人的修辭手法,看起來靈動,但escape的選詞欠妥,只考慮含義的表面忠實而忽視了其真實含義和感情色彩?!扒чT萬戶的世界”為虛指,即指大千世界。張1譯teeming millions形式上雖與前面的fleeting days對應,但與張2譯thousands of households一樣,都過于寫實。朱譯in this bustling world, 忙忙碌碌、熙熙攘攘的世界,富有神韻。葛譯so many, 與only one 形成對比,突出了作者面對時光流逝的無奈。
例8: 我何曾留著像游絲樣的痕跡?
張1 譯:gossamer-like traces
張2 譯:a mark as tiny as a hairspring
朱譯:gossamer traces
葛譯:... the trace... so much as a gossamer thread
gossamer指“蛛絲”或“如蛛絲的,游絲般的,輕而軟的,虛無縹緲的”。原文中游絲樣的痕跡用到了明喻的修辭手法,張1譯gossamer-like traces,葛譯the trace... so much as a gossamer thread,都指游絲樣的痕跡,準確到位,但張1譯更簡潔;張2譯mark更多指污點、斑點(stain, spot that spoils the appearance of sth),而hairspring更多指機械領(lǐng)域的游絲,細發(fā)條(a slender spiraled recoil spring that regulates the motion of the balance wheel of a timepiece), 這兩個選詞只考慮字面忠實而忽視意義一致,似有不妥;朱譯gossamer traces雖意思正確,但沒有體現(xiàn)原文明喻的修辭手法。
例9. 但不能平的,為什么要白白走這一遭?。?/p>
張1譯:However, I am taking it very much to heart: why should I be made to pass through this world for nothing at all
張2譯: But, it’s unfair to me. . . why did I come to this world for nothing
朱譯:It is not fair though: why should I have made such a trip for nothing!
葛譯:But what I cannot accept this: why should I make this journey in vain
此句“不能平的”指在面對時光流逝時,作者對自己無能為力感到無法接受,耿耿于懷,所以張1譯I am taking it very much to heart和葛譯what I cannot accept this都準確到位,而張2譯it’s unfair to me朱譯It is not fair 都更多關(guān)注字面意思,稍欠準確。
通過以上例證對比可以看出, 翻譯中對于字詞的選擇,首先考慮文章的風格、所蘊含的思想、上下文語境、詞匯的感情色彩和具體含義,還要兼顧所選詞匯與其他字詞的銜接搭配、韻律節(jié)奏等,使所選字詞不但要意思準確,有韻律感,還要與整句銜接順暢,渾然天成,同時在風格和感情上與全篇高度一致,做到個體與整體的完美統(tǒng)一。
例10:我赤裸裸來到這世界,轉(zhuǎn)眼間也將赤裸裸地回去罷?
張1譯:I have come to this world stark naked, and in the twinkling of an eye, I am to go back as stark naked as ever.
張2譯:I came to this world naked, soon I’ll leave here naked too.
朱譯:I have come to the world, stark naked; am I to go back, in a blink, in the same stark nakedness
葛譯:Naked I came into this world, and in a twinkling still naked I will leave it.
原文的“赤裸裸”為狀語,形容作者初來到這個世界時的狀態(tài),“也將赤裸裸地”較之“赤裸裸”含義更遞進一步。張1譯和朱譯分別用stark naked, as stark naked as ever和stark naked,in the same stark nakedness翻譯,用詞考究,含義準確, 朱譯第二處用名詞nakedness, 詞性轉(zhuǎn)換多樣;張2譯和葛譯分別用naked,naked too和naked, still naked簡單直白,通俗易懂;葛譯把狀語naked置于句首以示強調(diào),效果明顯,深化了作者面對匆匆而逝的時光無所成就的無奈何焦慮。
2. 句子的處理
王力曾指出,“就句子的結(jié)構(gòu)而論,西洋語言是法治的,中國語言是人治的”。[5]在形式上,漢語重意合,“以意統(tǒng)形”,顯性的連接手段不多,形式簡約,相對松散,其主從、并列多是邏輯紐帶或語序的間接表現(xiàn);英語重形合,它多以關(guān)聯(lián)詞或其他語法手段來表達句子間各成分的相互關(guān)系,英語句子結(jié)構(gòu)完整,形式嚴謹。[6]26-29在意義表達上,中國人習慣于螺旋型的思維方式,實行的是“低值信息在前,高值信息在后,已知信息在前,新知信息在后”的表達原則;英語中體現(xiàn)的思維方式則是直線型的,常常實行的是“先總后分,先果后因,主旨在前,鋪敘在后”的表達原則。在句子結(jié)構(gòu)上,漢語多是“主題+述題”的模式,而英語句子則多是主謂模式。漢英句子特點的巨大差異,要求譯者在句子翻譯中必須充分了解漢英句子的不同特點并結(jié)合具體語境甚至通篇靈活處理,努力做到形式和意義上的完全對等。
例10. 燕子去了,有再來的時候;楊柳枯了,有再青的時候;桃花謝了,有再開的時候。
張1譯:If swallows go away, they will come back again. If willows wither, they will turn green again. If peach blossoms fade, they will flower again.
張2譯:When the swallows have gone, there is still time to return; when the poplar and willow trees have become withered, there is still time to see green; when the peach flowers have already faded, there is still time to blossom.
朱譯:Swallows may have gone, but there is a time of return; willow trees may have died back, but there is a time of regreening; peach blossoms may have fallen, but they will bloom again.
葛譯:The swallows may go, but they will return another day; the willows may whither, but they will turn green again; the peach blossoms may fade and fall, but they will bloom again.
原文含有三個并列句,形成了排比,描述了三種自然現(xiàn)象周而復始,不斷循環(huán)往復。張1譯漢語的三個并列句被分別譯成三個復合句,結(jié)構(gòu)對等統(tǒng)一,其中if引導的條件狀語從句用一般現(xiàn)在時,主句則用一般將來時,與源語中描繪的燕去還來,樹枯還綠,花謝還開的自然現(xiàn)象一致。另外,該譯作中if,they,again三詞重復使用,既押首尾韻,同時不但強化了原文所描繪的年復一年的自然規(guī)律,又與時光一去不復返的主題形成了強烈的反差,突出了時光的珍貴和作者對時光匆匆流逝的惋惜。張2譯漢語的三個并列句被分別譯成三個并列復合句, 其結(jié)構(gòu)統(tǒng)一為“when..., there is time to+ V.”句式,形式上也做到了高度統(tǒng)一,但其中when引導的時間狀語從句用了現(xiàn)在完成時強調(diào)結(jié)果,而原文中所描繪的都是自然現(xiàn)象客觀事實,用一般現(xiàn)在時態(tài)似乎更加妥當。朱譯漢語的三個并列句被分別對應譯成三個由并列連詞but所連接的并列句,做到了與原文形式上的高度統(tǒng)一。雖然but前的簡單句都用到了“may have+PP. (動詞過去分詞)” 的結(jié)構(gòu),形式上顯得統(tǒng)一,但該結(jié)構(gòu)表示一種推測,而原中所描繪的都是自然現(xiàn)象客觀事實,用一般現(xiàn)在時態(tài)似乎更加妥當。此外,朱譯每個分局結(jié)尾詞return, regreening和again押尾韻,做到了聲音美,讀起來朗朗上口。與朱譯一樣,葛譯漢語的三個并列句被分別對應譯成三個由并列連詞but所連接的并列句,做到了與原文形式上的統(tǒng)一,用詞簡單,翻譯直白,但只考慮意思對應而忽視了韻律。
例11. 但是,聰明的,你告訴我,我們的日子為什么一去不復返呢?——是有人偷了他們罷:那是誰?又藏在何處呢?是他們自己逃走了罷:現(xiàn)在又到了哪里呢?
張1譯:But, tell me, you the wise, why should our days go by never to return Perhaps they have been stolen by someone. But who could it be and where could he hide them Perhaps they have just run away by themselves. But where could they be at the present moment
張2譯:But please tell me, the genius, why then have my days gone and never returned If some people have stolen them, then who are they And where are they hidden If they have escaped by themselves, then where are they now
朱譯:Now, you the wise, tell me, why should our days leave us, never to return-If they had been stolen by someone, who could it be Where could he hide them If they had made the escape themselves, then where could they stay at the moment
葛譯:You who are wiser than I, tell me, then: why is it that the days, once gone, never again return Are they stolen by someone Then, by whom And where are they hidden Or do they run away by themselves Then, where are they now
原文的節(jié)奏很快,層層推進,步步追問,表達了作者想要一探究竟,徹底弄清時光匆匆流逝的原因所在,體現(xiàn)了作者面對時光流逝的焦慮和想要有所作為的決心。張1譯三組句子都以but開頭,加以特殊疑問句提問,然后以perhaps開頭的句子作答,推測前面問題的答案。句子結(jié)構(gòu)對等,形式對稱,含義準確,其中but開頭的三個句子層層遞進,恰當?shù)乇憩F(xiàn)出來作者的心境和情緒。張2譯以but引出第一句,后兩組句子由if引出且都用了現(xiàn)在完成時。朱譯第一句并未按漢語對應用but,而是用了now引導,后兩組句子與張2譯相同,都是由if引導,區(qū)別在于朱譯用了虛擬語氣,貌似表明了日子不可能被偷、被藏和自己逃走,但忽視了原文作者所用的擬人的修辭手法。張2譯和朱譯在形式對等上相較于張1譯略微遜色。葛譯第一句why is it that the days, once gone, never again return的翻譯用了強調(diào)結(jié)構(gòu),追問時光到底為什么一去不復返的原因,突出了作者對時光匆匆飛逝的感慨與無奈。但結(jié)構(gòu)略顯復雜。后面的翻譯增加連詞then, and和or把相對分散的英文句子串聯(lián),使其更緊湊順暢,一氣呵成,步步追問時間都去哪兒了,與全文匆匆的主題高度吻合。
例12. 像針尖上一滴水滴在大海里,我的日子滴在時間的流里,沒有聲音,也沒有影子。我不禁頭涔涔而淚潸潸了。
張1譯:Like a drop of water falling off a needle point into the ocean, my days are quietly dripping into the stream of time without leaving a trace. At the thought of this, sweat oozes from my forehead and tears trickle down my cheeks.
張2譯:Just like water drops a pinpoint dripping slowly into the vast ocean, my days have been dripping into the river of time, quietly and invisibly. I can’t help dripping with sweat and weeping many tears.
朱譯:Like a drop of water from the point of a needle disappearing into the ocean, my days are dripping into the stream of time, soundless, traceless. Already sweat is starting on my forehead, and tears welling up in my eyes.
葛譯:...each like a drop of water on the head of a pin, falling into the ocean. My days are disappearing into the stream of time, noiselessly and without a trace; uncontrollably, my sweat and tears stream down.
原文雖為兩句話,但之間有暗含的內(nèi)在因果關(guān)系,因為“像針尖上一滴水滴在大海里,我的日子滴入時間的流里”,悄無聲息,無影無蹤,所以我才會禁不住“頭涔涔而淚潸潸”。張1譯用at the thought of this(this指前面一整句話的內(nèi)容)銜接兩個句子,完美體現(xiàn)了兩句之間內(nèi)在的因果關(guān)系,此增譯準確貼切,使兩句間的過渡自然順暢。張2譯、朱譯和葛譯分別用can’t help dong, already和uncontrollably表達了第二句的不禁,雖然做到了詞義的對等,但忽視了兩句之間前后的內(nèi)在因果關(guān)系。另外,兩外針對第一句中的“沒有聲音,也沒有影子”,張2譯和朱譯分別為quietly and invisibly和soundless, traceless, 張2譯用并列副詞做狀語,朱譯則用兩個形容詞作狀語,兩組詞都押尾韻,不但形式意義對等,而且有韻律感,此為二者翻譯的一個亮點。
例13:于是——洗手的時候,日子從水盆里過去;吃飯的時候,日子從飯碗里過去;默默時,便從凝然的雙眼前過去。
張1譯: Thus the day flows away through the sink when I wash my hands; vanishes in the rice bowl when I have my meal; passes away quietly before the fixed gaze of my eyes when I am lost in reverie.
張2譯: When I wash my hands, my days wash off into my basin; when I am eating, the days vanish from my bowl; and when I am sitting silently, my days pass by my gazing eyes.
朱譯: Thus--the day flows away through the sink when I wash my hands, wears off in the bowl when I eat my meal, and passes away before my day-dreaming gaze as I reflect in silence.
葛譯: Then as I wash up, the day passes through my washbasin, and at breakfast through my rice bowl. When I am standing still and quiet, my eyes carefully follow its progress past me.
原文第三段延續(xù)第二段的抒寫,繼續(xù)細致的刻畫筆者所感受到的時光易逝,整體節(jié)奏舒緩,但緩中有急,慢中有快,這句突然加快節(jié)奏,描述日子是怎樣在平時的瑣碎中悄然飛逝的。張1譯和朱譯都反應出了這種節(jié)奏的變化,通過把主句前置時間狀語后置的方式突出時光流逝的主題,相較而言張1譯的三個時間狀語從句都用when引導,形式上也更對等。張2譯在第三段整段用了7個前置的由when引導的時間狀語從句,形式上整齊劃一,但其忽略了原文節(jié)奏的變化所蘊含的凸顯主題的意義。葛譯兩個時間狀語從句分別用as和when引導,做到了選詞多樣,同時在第二句用my eyes替代the days做主語, 強調(diào)了作者眼睜睜看看時光溜走的無奈,此轉(zhuǎn)換可謂傳神,但葛譯同樣忽視了原文節(jié)奏的變化。
例14:天黑時,我躺在床上,他便伶伶俐俐地從我身上跨過,從我腳邊飛去了。
張1 譯:In the evening, when I lie on my bed, it nimbly strides over my body and flits past my feet.
張2 譯:When it is dark, I lie upon my bed and watch days cleverly jump over my body or fly away from my feet.
朱譯:In the evening, as I lie in bed, he strides over my body, glides past my feet, in his agile way.
葛譯:At night, as I lie on my bed, agilely it strides across my body and flies past my feet.
原文中,“天黑時”“我躺在床上”均為時間狀語,“他便伶伶俐俐地從我身上跨過,從我腳邊飛去了?!眲t為主句。張1譯、朱譯和葛譯均保持了形式對等,把“天黑時”“我躺在床上”分別譯為介詞短語和連詞when或as引導的時間狀語從句,主句的翻譯張1譯和葛譯都用it做主語表示時間,而朱譯則用he做主語,不但與原文“他”對等,而且進一步強化了原文所用的擬人的修辭手法,凸顯了時光“匆匆”的主題。例14分析中提到張2譯在第三段整段用了7個前置的由when引導的時間狀語從句保持形式上的整齊劃一,故此句張夢井先生的處理方式是第一個時間狀語“天黑時”譯成when引導的時間狀語從句,把“我躺在床上”這個時間狀語與主句融合在一起,譯為“我躺在床上看著日子伶伶俐俐地從我身上跨過,從我腳邊飛去了”。此譯法打破常規(guī),靈活巧妙,不但意義對等,而且襯托了作者眼睜睜看著時光飛逝的無奈之情。另外,在選詞方面,針對“伶伶俐俐”“跨”“飛”三詞的翻譯,朱譯stride,glide不但同為押韻的單音節(jié)詞,而且與agile一詞都含元音/ai/,讀起來朗朗上口,響亮明快,在韻律上契合了輕快如飛的主題。葛譯agilely, stride和fly雖然也都含元音/ai/,但三詞音節(jié)差異較大且沒有押韻,在韻律上較朱譯稍顯遜色;而張1譯和張2譯在這三詞的翻譯上似未太多考慮音律的因素。
例15:在逃去如飛的日子里,在千門萬戶的世界里的我能做些什么呢?只有徘徊罷了,只有匆匆罷了;......
張1譯: Living in this world with its fleeting days and teeming millions, what can I do but waver and wander and live a transient life
張2譯:In these swiftly escaping days, what can I do in this world amongst thousands of households I can do nothing but hesitate and hurry.
朱譯:What can I do, in this bustling world, with my days flying in their escape Nothing but to hesitate, to rush.
葛譯:During these fleeting days what can I, only one among so many, accomplish Nothing more than to pace irresolutely, nothing more than to hurry along.
此句中文為設問句,一問一答。張1譯打破了形式上的統(tǒng)一,把兩句合并為一句,用living in this world with its fleeting days and teeming millions做狀語,在 what can I do but waver and wander and live a transient life一句中用can do but的結(jié)構(gòu)自問自答,其中waver and wander對應中文“徘徊”,不但意思準確,而且押首尾韻,甚是經(jīng)典。張2譯、朱譯和葛譯都保留了形式上的統(tǒng)一,把原中文句子分別譯為兩句,而且都用nothing but(to)或nothing more than to的結(jié)構(gòu)強調(diào)作者面對匆匆流逝歲月“只有徘徊罷了,只有匆匆罷了”無奈。
例16:過去的日子如輕煙,被微風吹散了,如薄霧,被初陽蒸融了;......
張1譯:The bygone days, like wisps of smoke, have been dispersed by gentle winds, and, like thin mists, have been evaporated by the rising sun.
張2譯:The past days like light smoke are blown away with the breeze or like a thin layer of mist evaporate with the morning sun.
朱譯:Those bygone days have been dispersed as smoke by a light wind, or evaporated as mist by the morning sun.
葛譯:The days that are gone are like smoke that has been dissipated by a breeze, like thin mists that have been burned off under the onslaught of the morning sun.
原句為“一個主語+兩個謂語”的簡單句。張1譯用連詞and并列兩個謂語動詞,like引導的介詞短語被前后用逗號分隔用作插入成分,凸顯了原句明喻的修辭手法,兩個動詞都用現(xiàn)在完成時的被動語態(tài)強調(diào)結(jié)果;張2譯用連詞or并列兩個謂語動詞,like引導的介詞短語做后置定語,兩個動詞用一般現(xiàn)在時強調(diào)客觀事實;朱譯也是用連詞or并列兩個用了現(xiàn)在完成時被動語態(tài)的動詞;葛譯用了兩個并列的復合句且每個復合句都含有謂語動詞用了現(xiàn)在完成時被動語態(tài)的定語從句。比較而言,張1譯形式內(nèi)容都與原文高度對等;張2譯“薄霧”的表達a thin layer of mist過于復雜,譯成thin mists與前面的light smoke對應即可;朱譯第二個簡單句承前省略have been,顯得簡潔不少,但此處用介詞as表示“作為”,未能譯出原文的明喻修辭格;葛譯“過去的日子”用定語從句that are gone限定修飾不但不夠簡潔,而且與后句的另一定語從句同時使用,讓整句顯得臃腫累贅,而且under the onslaught of的使用也顯得冗余,不能體現(xiàn)譯文與原文的形式對等。
例17:我留著些什么痕跡呢?我何曾留著像游絲樣的痕跡呢?
張1 譯:What traces have I left behind No, nothing, not even gossamer-like traces.
張2 譯:And what mark have I left in the world When have I ever left a mark as tiny as a hairspring
朱譯:What traces have I left behind me Have I ever left behind any gossamer traces at all
葛譯:What mark will I leave behind Will the trace I leave behind be so much as a gossamer thread
此句原文為兩個并列設問的疑問句。與例13一樣,張2譯、朱譯和葛譯均對應性地譯為兩個疑問句,做到了形式對等,同時譯文信息內(nèi)容與原文也基本一致;張1譯則另辟蹊徑,從全句甚至整篇把握,把第二句譯為陳述句,作為對前句問題的否定回答,并且同時使用no, nothing, not even三個否定詞來表示強調(diào),突出作者在面對歲月流逝時沒有成就的無奈。此譯法可謂從大入手,巧妙絕倫。
漢英詞匯在詞形和拼寫方面的不同以及漢英句子在形式、意義表達和句子結(jié)構(gòu)方面的巨大差異,要求譯者在翻譯過程中必須充分了解兩種語言的詞匯和句子特點,努力精通兩種語言并充分了解兩種語言所深深根植的文化。通過以上17個例證對比分析可以看出,由于譯者對詞匯的選擇、句子的處理等不同的語言駕馭能力,各自不一的文藝素養(yǎng)、審美情趣、翻譯風格等, 譯文會深深打上譯者的烙印,為讀者呈現(xiàn)不同特色的譯作。因此, 通過不同譯文的對比賞析,不但可以提高對原文及譯文的審美鑒賞能力,還可以學習其他譯者的長處,并在翻譯實踐中探索個人翻譯風格的形成和培養(yǎng), 切實提高自身翻譯水平和翻譯創(chuàng)新能力。
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(編校 鄧胤龍)
OnLinguisticFeaturesofEnglishVersionsofRush
LuLingyun1,MuHai2
(1.College of Foreign Languages, Hengyang Normal University,Hengyang Hunan 421002,China; 2. Zhanjiang Preschool Education College,Zhanjiang Guangdong 524400,China)
Chinese and English have little in common when it comes to lexical and syntactic features, which requires translators' accurate choice of words and full expression of the writer's feelings. Taking the famous proseRushby Zhu Ziqing as the example, this paper makes a case study of its four English versions and finds that translators employ different skills and techniques in word selection and sentence translation, which reflects their different translating styles, literature foundations, aesthetic standards and attainments. The contrastive appreciation and analysis of different translated versions can not only improve one's aesthetic judgement but innovation in translating as well.
Rush; English versions; linguistic features
H315.9
A
1673-0313(2017)05-0138-08
2017-09-14
呂凌云,男,甘肅涇川人,講師,碩士,主要從事翻譯理論與實踐研究。