林巍
【原文】
故宮
[1]北京的故宮是個神奇之地,從成千上萬套房間到無數(shù)精美的工藝品,它成為中國最受歡迎的旅游景點之一不足為奇。[2]就在故宮建成近600年后的今天,它依然在不斷地給人們帶來驚喜。[3]故宮初建于明代,據(jù)估算,至今已經(jīng)歷了200多次地震。[4]大多數(shù)建筑都無法抵御天災(zāi),更不必說那些百年老建筑了,然而故宮卻似乎能經(jīng)受住一切考驗。
【點評】
從前年美國總統(tǒng)訪華時對她朱墻黃瓦、雕梁畫棟的深厚文化底蘊的贊嘆,到今年元宵節(jié)現(xiàn)代光影的“紫禁城上元之夜”,的確,這座建于明代的聞名于世的古代建筑至今有著強(qiáng)大的生命力。
就題目“故宮”的翻譯而言,有參賽者音譯成Gu Gong,顯然不妥,因故宮有約定俗成的譯名。還有不少參賽者譯為The Palace Museum,嚴(yán)格說這是“故宮博物院”,與“故宮”是有區(qū)別的:“故宮”是明清兩代的皇家宮殿,帝王居住和處理政務(wù)的地方,而“故宮博物院”是故宮之內(nèi)、在明清兩代皇宮及其收藏的基礎(chǔ)上建立起來的綜合性博物館;前者于永樂十八年(1420年)建成,后者于1925年10月10日開館。順便而言,還有“臺北故宮博物院”和“沈陽故宮博物院”,而這里指的是“北京的故宮”。有的譯成The Imperial Palace,似乎不錯,但分析起來,還不夠確切,因為自末代皇帝溥儀一家在1924年10月4日被馮玉祥的部隊趕出宮后,故宮便不再是“皇宮”,而是Former Imperial Palace。比較而言,“紫禁城”是對故宮的舊稱,譯為The Forbidden City,被外界普遍接受,亦可保留其特有的傳統(tǒng)文化色彩。
對于[1],有的參賽者譯得過于零碎,即短句過多,而忽視了英文“形合”的特點,如:Beijing’s Forbidden City is a wonderful place. Tens of thousands of sets of houses and countless exquisite craftwork are included there. It is not surprising that the place has become one of the most populous scenic spots in China. 其中,可注意用介詞、連詞等將句子整合起來。然而,也不是越長越好,如:From its tens of thousands of rooms and halls that served diverse functions to its innumerable collection of exquisite arts and crafts, it is no wonder that Beijing’s Palace Museum, also known as the Forbidden City, is a magical place that has become one of the most popular tourist attractions in China. 重要的是能在句子的組織上找到適當(dāng)?shù)钠胶?。同時,“從成千上萬套房間到無數(shù)精美的工藝品”,是一種鋪排寫法,不必譯成“from… to…”,而可接續(xù)前面,用介詞where, 引出“tens of thousands of rooms were built, countless exquisite crafts stored”。“成為中國最受歡迎的旅游景點之一也不足為奇”,原文是一句,譯文則不妨用Unsurprisingly另起一句,以更符合英文表達(dá)習(xí)慣。
故此句不妨譯為:The Forbidden City in Beijing is truly an amazing place, where tens of thousands of rooms were built, countless exquisite crafts stored. Unsurprisingly, it has become one of China’s most popular tourist attractions.
[2]和[3],很容易譯成:Today, nearly 600 years after the Palace Museum was built, it still brings surprises to people. The Palace Museum was built in the Ming Dynasty. It is estimated that more than 200 earthquakes have occurred so far. / Even today, more than 600 years after it was built, the Forbidden City still brings constant surprises to us. It is estimated that the Forbidden City, initially built in Ming Dynasty, has suffered over 200 earthquakes so far. / It has been more than 600 years since the Palace Museum was built, but it still continues to surprise people. The Palace Museum, first built in the Ming dynasty, has experienced more than 200 earthquakes by some estimates. / Today, 600 years away from its being built, it still surprises people. Built in the Ming Dynasty, the Palace Museum was estimated to have experienced more than 200 earthquakes.(下畫線為筆者所加)其中都難免重復(fù)built。
顯然,鑒于[3]中的“故宮初建于明代”有重疊的部分(因為建立的時間、地點是相關(guān)聯(lián)的),若單獨譯出,會使句子冗繁,故不妨合并翻譯,如nearly 600 years after it was established in the Ming Dynasty?!敖o人們帶來驚喜”,此處有個潛在問題,即“什么帶來的”,在譯文中需要補充,如加上features、qualities(特質(zhì))等。
承接上述譯文,句[3]可從“據(jù)估算……”翻譯,而“至今”所指時間段不妨在譯文中加以明確:its lifetime。“經(jīng)歷”似可用experience、go through、undergo、come through等,但不是suffer、involve、contain等,更確切的為survive,其意為continue to live、endure or last。
因而,此兩句不妨譯為:Still, nearly 600 years after it was established in the Ming Dynasty (1368–1644), the Forbidden City has constantly surprised people with its features. It is estimated that during its lifetime the Forbidden City has survived more than 200 earthquakes.
[4]中,若按原文詞序譯成“Most of the buildings cannot resist natural disaster, not to mention those hundred-year-old buildings… / While most buildings in the world are not resistant to such natural disasters, let alone those vulnerable century-old buildings. / Generally speaking, most of the buildings have no immunity to natural disasters, let alone the centuries-old ones.”等似乎還可以(其中個別用詞不當(dāng)除外),但是“都無法抵御天災(zāi)”是指地震破壞的嚴(yán)重性,譯文中可以強(qiáng)調(diào),調(diào)整詞序到句首,如“Given the severity of such natural calamities, …”。而“經(jīng)受?。ㄒ磺锌简灒?,參賽者大都用了stand,應(yīng)當(dāng)說,對于物體而言,“If something such as a building or a piece of furniture stands somewhere, it is in that position, and is upright”,即多用于locate,即靜止存在,如:①The house stands alone on top of a small hill. (房子孤零零地坐落在一座小山頂上。)②I reached for the lamp, which stood in the middle of the table.(我伸手去夠桌子中央的燈。)固然,該詞也有a building is standing when it remains after other buildings around it have fallen down or been destroyed之意,如:There are very few buildings left standing.(幾乎沒有幾個建筑物留存下來。)但相對而言,withstand不但具有quality的性質(zhì)(to be strong enough not to be hurt or damaged by extreme conditions, the use of force, etc.),而且是動態(tài)的(to resist or confront with resistance),如:The materials used have to be able to withstand high temperatures.(所使用的材料必須能夠耐高溫。)特別是對比“大多數(shù)建筑……,更不必說那些……,然而……”的語境,此處似更宜用該詞。同時,“抵御”和“經(jīng)受住”應(yīng)避免使用同一譯詞。此外,一些形容人的詞語,不宜用來形容物體,如“the Forbidden City seems robust / strong / sturdy enough to resist…”等。
故此句不妨譯為:Given the severity of such natural calamities, there are very few buildings that could have endured, not to mention those over a hundred years old; the Forbidden City, however, has apparently withstood all these tests.
其實,關(guān)于故宮的各種英譯文已有不少,但在詞語、句式等表達(dá)方面,仍有不斷推敲和改進(jìn)的空間。
【優(yōu)勝者】
黃婷(陜西)? ?許飄飄(江蘇)? ?張建英(云南)