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      循規(guī)但不蹈矩,合理拓展細(xì)節(jié)—應(yīng)用文寫(xiě)作專題之“求助與建議”

      2018-07-04 01:50:22吳俊峰浙江省常山縣第一中學(xué)
      作文新天地 2018年16期
      關(guān)鍵詞:建議信應(yīng)用文開(kāi)放性

      ◎吳俊峰 浙江省常山縣第一中學(xué)

      “Roses given,fragrance in hand.”意思是“愛(ài)出者愛(ài)返,福往者福來(lái)”。我們每個(gè)人都不是孤島,往往需要向他人求助,也會(huì)以建議等方式助人。這個(gè)過(guò)程中,播下的是希望,傳遞的是愛(ài)心。

      求助是一種很重要的社交和生存能力,我們要掌握求助技巧并學(xué)會(huì)在困難的時(shí)候勇敢向別人求助。求助者要懂得感恩與敬畏,資助者或建議者要懂得理解與尊重。善提建議的人,往往善解人意,廣結(jié)人緣,是謙恭的人、仁義的人。

      求助與助人,是良好人際關(guān)系和情感連接的紐帶,可以幫助我們提高社會(huì)交往能力,擁有和諧的人際關(guān)系,更容易走向成功,而且還能增加幸福指數(shù)。

      一、求助或建議信的文體特點(diǎn)

      求助信要從高效解決問(wèn)題的角度,把求助信息用精練準(zhǔn)確和通俗易懂的方式表達(dá)出來(lái),具體可以先簡(jiǎn)述現(xiàn)狀和進(jìn)展(Situation&Progress),再澄清目標(biāo)和預(yù)期結(jié)果(Objective&Key Results),描述自己想到的方法和遇到的難點(diǎn)(Options&Problems),最后表達(dá)希望在哪些方面(想法或資源)能夠幫助到自己(Thoughts&Resources)。求助信要表達(dá)出自己希望得到幫助的急切心理和誠(chéng)意。

      建議信是向征詢建議者就某事提出寫(xiě)信人的看法、建議或忠告;也可能是寫(xiě)給某個(gè)組織或機(jī)構(gòu),就改進(jìn)其服務(wù)等提出建議或忠告。高考中此類信件多屬于半開(kāi)放性作文,要求考生根據(jù)所給的材料,提出合理化建議或者針對(duì)性解決辦法。建議信除了遵循書(shū)信的格式之外,還要求在信中針對(duì)別人的問(wèn)題,合情合理地給出觀點(diǎn)及解決辦法,并鼓勵(lì)收信人聽(tīng)取建議,要有禮貌,使對(duì)方容易接受。

      二、求助或建議信的內(nèi)容結(jié)構(gòu)

      ?

      三、求助或建議信的寫(xiě)作要領(lǐng)

      1.厘清因果邏輯,合理拓展細(xì)節(jié)

      首先,高考英語(yǔ)應(yīng)用文寫(xiě)作從功能意念的角度考查學(xué)生表達(dá)建議、求助、投訴、邀請(qǐng)、推薦、感謝、評(píng)價(jià)、致歉等具體的交際能力,而所有與這些功能對(duì)應(yīng)的交際內(nèi)容基本上都可以與表示原因和結(jié)果的句型疊加在一起,使句子的表意獲得強(qiáng)化的效果。其次,由于高考英語(yǔ)應(yīng)用文寫(xiě)作所給的中文提示很少,考生需要對(duì)要點(diǎn)進(jìn)行合理的拓展,如果能夠使用因果邏輯來(lái)展開(kāi)思考,可形成邏輯嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)、合情合理的好段落或好句子。

      例如,“你就你班的戲劇排練求助正在外面旅游度假的外教”,我們可以采用因果邏輯的思維方式合理拓展細(xì)節(jié)。從結(jié)果的角度說(shuō),“如果得到了外教老師及時(shí)的幫助和指導(dǎo),我們的表演就可以更加精彩,給觀眾和裁判留下好的印象,增加我們班級(jí)獲獎(jiǎng)的概率(If we could get your generous elp,we would impress the audience and judges with wonderful performance,which in turn would increase our chances of winning the competition.)”從原因的角度說(shuō),“您是英語(yǔ)母語(yǔ)者,是英語(yǔ)戲劇和文學(xué)方面的專家,我們覺(jué)得有必要向您學(xué)習(xí)和請(qǐng)教(Given the fact that you are an English native speaker and expert on British drama and literature,we are eager to learn from you and hope to get your guidance.)”上述兩種拓展方式很好地說(shuō)明了因果邏輯的運(yùn)用價(jià)值,彰顯了良好的思維品質(zhì)。

      再例如,“在澳大利亞旅游時(shí)把照相機(jī)落在了自己入住的賓館里,請(qǐng)賓館工作人員幫忙尋回”,我們可用因果邏輯關(guān)系合理展開(kāi)要點(diǎn),充分表達(dá)求助的迫切性和真誠(chéng)。“考慮到相機(jī)記錄了我對(duì)你國(guó)家旅行的美好回憶,我不能失去它(原因),你能否幫我找到我的相機(jī),然后用航空郵件寄給我(結(jié)果)?(Considering the camera recorded my fond memories of my trip to your country so I can’t afford to lose it,I am wondering whether you could help me find it and send it to me by airmail.)”

      再比如,“給即將來(lái)校任教的外教提教學(xué)方面的建議”,可以運(yùn)用因果邏輯使得所提建議顯得有禮有節(jié),易于對(duì)方接受。“關(guān)于這門課的主題,我們希望您能讓我們了解當(dāng)前的國(guó)際事務(wù)(結(jié)果),因?yàn)檫@不僅會(huì)拓寬我們的視野,也會(huì)有助于我們提高考試成績(jī)(原因)。此外,由于我們中國(guó)老師測(cè)試多和節(jié)奏快的教學(xué),我們感到壓力巨大(原因),因此希望您可以放慢速度,創(chuàng)設(shè)輕松的課堂氛圍,多給我們機(jī)會(huì)來(lái)表達(dá)我們的想法(結(jié)果)。(Regarding the topics of the class,we would like you to teach current international affairs because this not only will broaden our horizon but also will contribute to improvement in ourtestscores.In addition,due to the heavy pressure from endless tests and the fast pace of teaching and learning,you’d better slow down your pace and create a relaxing atmosphere in your class,giving us more chances to express our ideas.)”

      2.著力“開(kāi)放要點(diǎn)”,循規(guī)但不蹈矩

      高考英語(yǔ)應(yīng)用文寫(xiě)作基本上是提綱式或圖表式的半開(kāi)放性作文,一般題目只給出主要的寫(xiě)作要點(diǎn)。首先,要讀懂題目要求,遵循應(yīng)用文寫(xiě)作規(guī)矩,明確應(yīng)用文的體裁而選擇合適的格式,明確寫(xiě)信目的與對(duì)象而選擇合適的措辭。

      其次,要給寫(xiě)作要點(diǎn)增加適當(dāng)?shù)募?xì)節(jié)讓文章內(nèi)容飽滿,而找出題目要點(diǎn)中的“開(kāi)放性要點(diǎn)(即思維突破口)”,弄清主要點(diǎn)和次要點(diǎn),是恰當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)的關(guān)鍵。然而,很多學(xué)生不知道應(yīng)該怎樣增加信息,干脆就不增加,導(dǎo)致信件的內(nèi)容空洞;也有學(xué)生由于不知道增加什么信息比較適當(dāng),往往會(huì)在寫(xiě)作中增加一些不相關(guān)的內(nèi)容。因此我們要思路清晰,著力于“開(kāi)放性要點(diǎn)”;邏輯性強(qiáng),確保要點(diǎn)主次分明、齊全并準(zhǔn)確;語(yǔ)言利落,確保清晰有效地傳遞信息。寫(xiě)作時(shí)忌隨心所欲,東拉西扯,不著邊際,內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)不全,表達(dá)思路不清。

      例如,《2015·新課標(biāo)全國(guó)卷Ⅰ》中:“假定你是李華,你校英文報(bào)‘外國(guó)文化’欄目擬刊登介紹美國(guó)節(jié)日風(fēng)俗和中學(xué)生生活的短文。請(qǐng)給美國(guó)朋友彼得寫(xiě)信約稿,要點(diǎn)如下:1.欄目介紹;2.稿件內(nèi)容;3.稿件長(zhǎng)度:約400詞;.交稿日期:6月28日前?!痹囶}中第1個(gè)要點(diǎn)是欄目介紹,題目中沒(méi)有對(duì)其進(jìn)行過(guò)多的解釋,就屬于開(kāi)放性要點(diǎn);第2個(gè)要點(diǎn)是稿件內(nèi)容,題目中雖有提及,但沒(méi)有細(xì)化其內(nèi)容,也屬于開(kāi)放性要點(diǎn)。對(duì)于這些開(kāi)放性要點(diǎn),考生不能隨意增加細(xì)節(jié)內(nèi)容,應(yīng)當(dāng)和書(shū)信首段的情景描述一樣,遵循簡(jiǎn)而精的原則,并立足于本篇書(shū)信的目的和內(nèi)容,增加適當(dāng)?shù)?、合理的?xì)節(jié),從而達(dá)到行文連貫的目的。第3個(gè)要點(diǎn)和第4個(gè)要點(diǎn)則屬于非開(kāi)放性要點(diǎn),因?yàn)椤案寮L(zhǎng)度”和“交稿日期”都是規(guī)定的內(nèi)容,學(xué)生只需要寫(xiě)齊這些要點(diǎn)就可以了,增加細(xì)節(jié)反而會(huì)畫(huà)蛇添足。

      本文要點(diǎn)闡述如下:The“Foreign Cultures”section in our newspaper is ery popular among us.It carries articles written by foreign friends about the ultures of their own countries.Would you please write something about the ulture in your part of the United States(要點(diǎn)1)?And we would especially

      elcome articles about how Americans spend their holidays and festivals,and he life of American high school students.You can write anything relevant so ong as it's interesting and informative(要點(diǎn)2).Four hundred words would be ine(要點(diǎn)3).Could we have your article before June 28(要點(diǎn)4)?

      3.拿捏得體語(yǔ)氣,把握交際原則

      雖然應(yīng)用文的寫(xiě)作語(yǔ)氣因人因事而異,但出于交際需要,遣詞應(yīng)得體,行文應(yīng)具有親和力。高考應(yīng)用文寫(xiě)作的情景性強(qiáng),我們寫(xiě)作時(shí)要將自己置身于溝通語(yǔ)境中,分析并明確受眾需要什么,然后根據(jù)受眾的特點(diǎn)來(lái)組織文字信息。要真正了解和尊重對(duì)方,求助和建議一定要在對(duì)方可接受和可考慮的范圍。不宜咄咄逼人,把提建議變成下命令;也不宜夸大其詞,把求幫助變成求施舍。

      例如,請(qǐng)求“希望工程”相關(guān)部門尋找資助候選人:“Firstly,I wonder if I can offer financial aid to a boy aging 6 to 9,who is getting his primary education.Secondly,would you please tell me the specific information on how to contact the boy and his family?Should I contact them by myself and transfer the money to his family bank account?”求助信中適當(dāng)應(yīng)用“I wonder if...”“Would you please tell me...”“May I...”等表達(dá),顯得禮貌得體,語(yǔ)言生動(dòng),地道自然。

      再比如,提議保護(hù)北京胡同建筑文化:“I suggest a law should be set up to maintain and protect the cultural heritage.I also propose that a hutong museum be established to exhibit the charm and significance of the culture.I myself,as well as many others,do hope that Beijing hutong remains nothing more than a memory.”建議信中“I suggest...I also propose that...I myself,as well as many others,do hope that...”等表達(dá)使得觀點(diǎn)層層推進(jìn),邏輯嚴(yán)密,結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊,簡(jiǎn)明扼要。

      四、求助或建議信的素材積累

      (一)篇首句

      1.求助

      (1)我寫(xiě)信尋求你的幫助。I’m writing to ask/seek for your help.

      (2)很抱歉,我不得不請(qǐng)求你的幫助,希望你能幫助我。I’m sorry that I have to ask a favor of you,with the hope that you will be kind to help me.

      (3)我冒昧地寫(xiě)這封信,請(qǐng)求你幫我一個(gè)忙。I am writing this letter to ask you to do me a favor.

      (4)但不幸的是,我遇到了困難,你是否能幫我解決這些困難?But unluckily/unfortunately,I’m encountering/faced with difficulties while doing...,I wonder if you could help me with these difficulties.

      2.建議

      (1)很遺憾聽(tīng)說(shuō)你在適應(yīng)新學(xué)校方面有困難。這樣的問(wèn)題是很正常的??赡芟旅娴慕ㄗh會(huì)有一些幫助。I’m sorry to hear that you are having trouble fitting in your new school.Such problems are quite normal.Perhaps the following suggestions are helpful.

      (2)我給你寫(xiě)信是想說(shuō)明一下我對(duì)于進(jìn)一步改善我們旅館的一些想法,以吸引更多顧客。I’m writing to you to present what I think on the further improvement of our hotel so as to attract more clients.

      (3)你向我咨詢?nèi)绾螌W(xué)習(xí)漢語(yǔ),那么我就在這里給出一些指導(dǎo)意見(jiàn)。You have asked me for my advice with regard to how to learn Chinese,and I will try to make some conductive suggestions here.

      (4)很高興收到你的來(lái)信,信上詢問(wèn)我關(guān)于如何適應(yīng)新的學(xué)校生活。下面是我的一些建議。I’m very glad to receive your letter asking for my advice on how to fit in the new school life.Here are a few suggestions.

      (5)擔(dān)心于事無(wú)補(bǔ)。Worrying about it won’t solve anything/won’t make it better/won’t do any good to you.

      (二)篇中句

      1.求助

      (1)在這兒我似乎不能與他人融洽相處。I seem not to be able to fit in well with others here.

      (2)我覺(jué)得沒(méi)有完全習(xí)慣這兒的生活。I don’t feel quite accustomed to the life here.

      (3)我渴望學(xué)好英語(yǔ),但我不知道怎么學(xué),這使我很煩惱。I long to study English well,but I don’t know how,which makes me upset.

      (4)這些日子我不能專心學(xué)習(xí),上次考試我沒(méi)有及格,這使我很著急。I can’t concentrate on my lessons these days,and I failed in the last exam,which worries me a lot.

      (5)在這所學(xué)校我經(jīng)常感到受到冷落,我不知道這是怎么回事。I often feel left out in this school,and I don’t know why I have this feeling.

      (6)我的英語(yǔ)不好,他們聽(tīng)不懂我的話。I’m so poor at English that I can’t make myself understood./I can’t get my point across.

      (7)我討厭我父母在周末逼我補(bǔ)課。I hate it when my parents force me to take extra lessons on weekends.

      2.建議

      (1)你來(lái)時(shí)不妨跟我住在一起。You might as well stay with me while you are here then.

      (2)在我看來(lái),在你目前的情況下,找個(gè)兼職工作更可取一些。In my humble opinion/From my point of view,it is more advisable to take a part-time job in your situation.

      (3)如果我是你,我會(huì)嘗試另一種辦法。If I were you,I would try another method.

      (4)你最好/最好不……You’d better(not)go and buy an English-Chinese dictionary.

      (5)如果你在英語(yǔ)國(guó)家找個(gè)筆友也是個(gè)不錯(cuò)的主意。It would also be a good idea if you could find a pen friend in English-speaking countries.

      (6)在下認(rèn)為,如果你能采取以下措施,將是一種明智的選擇。In my humble view,it would be wise of you to take the following action.

      (7)我想,如果你能積極地多參加一些學(xué)?;顒?dòng),可能會(huì)更好。It seems to me that it would be more beneficial if you could take an active part in more school activities.

      (8)很多高中生幾乎不參加課外活動(dòng),這是他們身體差的原因。Nowadays,many senior school students hardly take part in after-class activities,which results in their poor health.

      (9)我建議有關(guān)當(dāng)局應(yīng)該制定一項(xiàng)規(guī)定,讓學(xué)生每天運(yùn)動(dòng)至少一個(gè)小時(shí)。I suggest the authorities concerned(should)make it a rule for students to spend at least one hour a day on sport.

      (10)在你目前的情況下,似乎找個(gè)兼職工作會(huì)有幫助。It seems that taking a part-time job would make sense in your situation.

      (三)篇尾句

      1.求助

      (1)我真誠(chéng)地希望得到您的及時(shí)答復(fù)。I sincerely hope to get your timely reply.

      (2)你給出的建議都是至關(guān)重要的。Any suggestion you give counts.

      (3)您對(duì)我信件的及時(shí)關(guān)注將讓我感激不盡。Your prompt attention to my letter would be highly appreciated.

      (4)我相信,我將從你寶貴而及時(shí)的建議中受益匪淺。I believe I will benefit a lot from your valuable and timely advice.

      2.建議

      (1)我希望這些建議/意見(jiàn)/看法對(duì)你實(shí)用/有用/有幫助。I hope you will find these proposals/suggestions/recommendations practical/useful/helpful.

      (2.)請(qǐng)?jiān)徫业拿懊粒贿^(guò),希望你能三思而后行。I hope you will not find it too straightforward for me to suggest that you think it over before taking action.

      (3)我相信你會(huì)認(rèn)真考慮我的建議。無(wú)論你決定做什么,祝你學(xué)習(xí)/工作好運(yùn)!I believe that you will take my suggestions into serious account.Whatever you decide to do,good luck with your studies/work!

      (4)我希望你可以好好考慮我的建議。我準(zhǔn)備好和你進(jìn)一步討論這件事情。I hope you can take good consideration of my advice.I would be ready to discuss about this matter with you to further details.

      五、求助或建議信的寫(xiě)作示范

      【優(yōu)秀范文——求助信】假定你是李華,正在一所英國(guó)學(xué)校學(xué)習(xí)暑期課程,遇到一些困難,希望得到學(xué)校輔導(dǎo)中心(Learning Center)的幫助。根據(jù)學(xué)校規(guī)定,你需書(shū)面預(yù)約,請(qǐng)按下列要點(diǎn)寫(xiě)一封信:

      1.求助內(nèi)容;2.約定時(shí)間;3.你的聯(lián)系方式(Email:lihua@1236.com)注意:1.詞數(shù)80左右;

      2.可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié),以使行文連貫。

      Dear Sir/Madam at the Learning Center,

      I’m Li Hua,a Chinese student taking summer courses in your university.I'm writing to ask for help.

      I came here last month and found my courses interesting.But I have some difficulties with note taking and using the library.When told that students can get help from your center,I’m really glad.I have no classes on Tuesday mornings and Friday afternoons.Please let me know which time fits you better.You can contact me via my email address:lihua@1236 com.

      Anxiously looking forward to your reply.

      Yours truly,Li Hua

      【優(yōu)秀范文——建議信】假如你是李華,你校的英語(yǔ)版校園網(wǎng)最近在征求改進(jìn)意見(jiàn)。請(qǐng)你給你校的網(wǎng)站負(fù)責(zé)人寫(xiě)一封建議信,信的內(nèi)容需包括:

      1.增加校園生活圖片;2.及時(shí)更新新聞;3.增加讀書(shū)沙龍(Reading Salon)欄目。

      注意:1.詞數(shù)80左右;

      2.可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié),以使行文連貫。

      Dear Sir or Madam,

      I’m writing to offer my suggestions on the improvement of our school’s English web.

      As the web is basically intended for the students,it is advisable that more photos about our campus life be provided to make it more appealing and attractive.Additionally,the news should be updated more often to keep us better informed of what’s going on in the world.As we all love reading,a new Reading Salon on this platform will be welcomed so that we can communicate with each other on the books we’ve just read.

      I would appreciate it if you could consider my suggestions.

      Yours sincerely,Li Hua

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