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      This is me!

      2023-10-04 22:46:26鄭云
      初中生世界·七年級 2023年9期
      關(guān)鍵詞:英語教材特長段落

      鄭云

      近日,你班正在評選體育主播,你打算參評。請結(jié)合特長介紹自己,表達出對體育的熱愛。

      Hello, everyone! My name is Tom. I am a student in Class 9, Grade 7.

      I am tall and thin. I have black hair and a round face. My eyes are not big. I often have a smile on my face. I am a friendly boy.

      I like reading and many kinds of sports. Basketball is my favourite. I began to play it when I was five years old. I usually run on the playground after school. Now, I am a member of the school basketball team. Last month, our team won two matches and I felt happy.

      Among all the basketball players, I like Yao Ming best. He is so cool. In the future, I will practise hard and I want to be a basketball player like him!

      可適當增加連接詞和過渡句,使文章顯得緊湊、有層次,表達更加流暢自然。

      本段落需要緊扣段落中心,具體描述作者的愛好和特長,此處遺漏寫作要點——特長。

      此句與“愛好和特長”無關(guān)。

      此處“cool”不能準確表達姚明是偶像的原因。

      建議用富有情感的語言表達對實現(xiàn)夢想的渴望。

      Hello, everyone! My name is Tom. I am a student in Class 9, Grade 7.

      I am tall and thin. I have black hair and a round face. My eyes are not big, but they are bright. I often have a smile on my face and everyone thinks I am very friendly.

      I love reading because I think it makes me know many things about the world. I also like many kinds of sports like football, badminton and basketball. Basketball is my favourite and I really do well in it. I began to play it when I was five years old. I often run on the playground after school. Now, I am a member of the school basketball team.

      Among all the basketball players, I like Yao Ming best. He plays basketball very well and often helps his team come first in the match, so he is my hero. In the future, I will practise harder and I want to be a basketball player like him. I hope my dream will come true someday!

      (江蘇省靖江市實驗學校 陳垚竹)

      本篇書面表達的主題是自我介紹,全文緊扣評選體育主播這個話題,結(jié)構(gòu)合理,條理清晰,邏輯性強,體現(xiàn)了小作者積極向上的生活態(tài)度。

      文章語言生動、流暢、精練,句式富有變化,時態(tài)把握準確。小作者能靈活運用七年級英語教材Unit 1和Unit 2所學的新短語和句式來表達外貌、愛好、特長、偶像和夢想等,也能較好地運用but, and, so, because, when等連詞,使文章緊湊,富有層次感。

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