Mary is my pen pal. She is a 13-year-old girl from America. Mary is tall， slimand soft-spoken. She has long hair and a pair of beautiful eyes. Red is her favoritecolor. She is on淤a red blouse and a pink skirt. Being kind and helpful is her goodquality. Mary usually get于up at 6：40 a.m. At 7：15 a.m. she goes to school. She has ahappy family. Her father is a policeman and her mother is a盂actress. Mary hasdinner with her parents at 6：45 p.m. Well， do you know what her favorite food is？Ha ha， let me tell you. She likes Chinese dumplings best.

This is my pen pal. Do you like her？

河北省阜城縣第四中學(xué)馬月月

優(yōu)點(diǎn)：

本文作者從年齡、國(guó)籍、外貌、喜好和家庭等方面介紹了一位筆友。文章行文邏輯順暢、條理分明，語(yǔ)法運(yùn)用恰當(dāng)，是一篇合格的學(xué)生范文。

需要修改的地方院

①on 改為in。表示“穿……衣服”用介詞in。

②get 改為gets。主語(yǔ)是單數(shù)第三人稱(chēng)she，動(dòng)詞get 要加s。

③a 改為an。動(dòng)詞actress 首字母發(fā)音是元音，所以用不定冠詞an。

評(píng)分院

按中考英語(yǔ)作文滿分20 分的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，本文修改前可得18 分。