安徽東至縣第二中學初三(14)班 劉 冉
Good morning,ladies and gentlemen!It's my honor to speak here,and I am very glad to share my topic with you.Today I'd like to talk about a special gift for me.
Do you have special gifts in your life?I believe that all of the people①hear about gifts.Of course,me too!I have lots of gifts in my room,but my favorite gift in childhood is a toy bear.On my fourth birthday,I was very happy because I received a special gift that my father bought for me.When I opened the box,I found it was a beautiful toy bear.
Look!This bear is brown and cute.Half-circle ears,a small nose pointed outwards,a pair of eyes like black pearls,a chubby body and a round head.I like it very much.I treat the toy bear as a good friend and we have come to an agreement,“Study hard and grow up together.”Since then,the bear has accompanied me.
As a kid,I slept with the bear on my arms②every evening.When I was young,I was afraid of dark,and with this toy bear staying by my side,I became brave.When I was happy,I often spoke,sang and danced to her.When I was discouraged,it reminded me“Come on.Study hard.Don't give up!”So I regard it as my lifelong friend.
This bear has been with me for many years and I have special feelings with her.Also,I have a lot of memories with her.I think I will keep it forever.I love it because this bear often brings fun to me and my family.What about you?Do you have a special gift,too?
Thanks for listening!
(指導教師:胡應余)
【教師點評】
這是一篇原創(chuàng)的演講稿。全文緊緊圍繞“a special gift”這一主題,重點闡述了作者對toy bear的印象與情感。本文內(nèi)容翔實,結構嚴謹,語言流暢,作者充分表達了自己對禮物的真情實感,是一篇成功的習作。
作者恰當?shù)剡\用了brown,cute,brave,discouraged,reminded,regard,half-circle ears,a small nose,a pair of eyes,a chubby body,memories,a round head,has accompanied,staying by my side,sang and danced,be with me,keep...forever,brings fun等單詞和短語,從而增強了文章的表達力和感染力。
此外,擬人化的修辭手法以及定語從句的使用,顯示出了小作者扎實的英語功底。而且時態(tài)的使用非常正確,人稱的運用也恰到好處。當然,文章中也存在一些可待完善之處:
①hear about改為have received(收到過)會比較合乎常理。
②every evening改為every night,這樣更加符合英語的表達習慣。